Like a Fine Wine
by TumbleDragon
Summary: Sebastian realizes that Ciel's soul is missing one crucial flavor: heartbreak. The cunning butler knows exactly how to resolve this before his Young Master's time on earth comes to an end. SebastianxCiel, but NOT true romance. Rated M: emotional abuse, sexual abuse (not explicit), mature themes
1. Chapter 1

**Summary** : Sebastian realizes that Ciel's soul is missing one crucial flavor: heartbreak. The cunning butler knows exactly how to resolve this before his Young Master's time on earth comes to an end. Abuse fic, NOT true romance.

 **Rated M** : sexual abuse (not explicit), emotional abuse, mature themes

 **Author's note:** Just a disclaimer, I do not ship SebastianxCiel romantically. I decided to write a story with a more realistic bent to the nature of their relationship if it ever were to turn sexual. This story was written with the intention to be a full deconstruction of what such a relationship would actually entail. The subtitle for this story might as well be: " _Sebastian Is a Bastard"_.

*Includes spoilers for Kuroshitsuji Season 2*

 **Chapter 1**

The time was two o'clock in the afternoon and a raven-haired man had just entered the doors of the Phantomhive library. With feather duster in hand and a smile on his pale visage, he quickly approached the leather-bound volumes with great furor. Once the bottom shelves were completely cleared, he then grabbed a stool and stood on it in order to reach the top of the mahogany shelves.

The man named Sebastian was not truly a man at all. But he was a creature that was skilled in masquerading as one. On this particular day, he could not help but grin as he worked. If it were in his nature, he would have even hummed a tune. Was the work menial? Of course. Was it enjoyable in the slightest? Absolutely not. But not even the irritating cloud of dust could dim his mood that day. He was doing what he always did when he completed his tasks alone—fantasizing about the meal he would eventually make of his Young Master's soul.

The boy's soul was a rare one at that. Beautifully delicate yet preternaturally strong-willed. It exuded a sweet purity and yet it was tinged with great trauma and hate. Imagine that: a touch of bitterness to balance out the almost saccharine purity. Sebastian paused his work to lick his lips in anticipation. With eyes closed, he rolled his tongue as he imagined the texture of it in his mouth. Every traumatic incident in the boy's life would be a pungent note of sinful flavor. The despair at finding his parents dead and childhood home destroyed? _Check_. The physical pain he endured from his time with the cult? _Check_. The grief over the recent death of his beloved aunt? _Check_. Existential angst over his impending death and condemnation to Hell? _Check_. Yet despite all of that, the Young Master's soul would still have a prevailing taste of its strength and purity. It would not be completely overpowered by bitterness and misery. No, the boy was too remarkable to let that happen.

Sebastian snapped out of his moment of ecstasy and resumed clearing dust bunnies off of the top shelf. As exquisite as the boy's soul would be, he knew that there had to be just _one more_ way to guarantee its complexity. Just enough to make the boy's soul even more full bodied and rich in taste—much like a fine wine. If he could just push it a little further. Just enough to scar the child but not break him. But is that even possible?

Sebastian's chain of thought was interrupted when his fingers brushed against an unexpected find. Covered in an inch of dust was a green leather book. The dark haired man picked up the volume in curiosity. Upon dusting it he could finally read the title.

The demon stared at the title in front of him. A perverse smile crept across his lips as he flipped through the pages. It seemed as if his unholy prayers had been answered.

-:-:-:-:-

A dark-haired teen boy entered the library with great haste. Sunday was his day off from administrative work and nobility lessons. Four o'clock was the beginning of his personal reading time and he intended to find a suitable book that he had not yet read before.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that his favorite edition of _Hound of the Baskervilles_ was hanging off of the shelf. Its spine was angled outwards as if someone was about to retrieve it. Ciel sighed and walked over to the shelf to correct it. After sliding the novel back into place, he noticed that further down the shelf _yet another_ book was out of place. Sebastian may be the one responsible for cleaning it once every few months, but this clearly could not be his doing. The boy cursed Mey-Rin under his breath. He and the staff have caught her reading novels on the job numerous times. Of course, it was her.

Upon walking towards the second book he noticed that it was one he had not seen before. It was bound in bright green leather and its text was printed in gold. The boy pulled the volume out to have a better look at the title:

" _Sexual Organs and Perversions: A Scientific Exploration"_

 _A_ blush settled on Ciel's cheeks. On impulse, he looked over his shoulder to see if anyone else had stepped into the study. His Anglican upbringing and noble education taught him exactly how to feel about such base desires. Did he really need a book to enlighten him? However...the scientific element did pique his curiosity. He gingerly flipped through the pages, still incredulous at what he held in his hands. He briefly glimpsed at the titles of chapters such as " _Fellatio"_ and " _Masturbation"._

 _This isn't mine. Who would own such...a peculiar book?_

The boy came across a lithographic illustration of a man and a woman on a chaise sofa. The man's head was underneath the woman's dress and between her legs. The woman was splayed out on the sofa in discernible ecstasy. He felt an immediate wave of shame and slammed the book shut. On the back of the volume, he felt an imprint in the leather. He turned it over to read the imprint:

 _Translated from German and Italian_

 _Property of Oxford Medical College_

Ciel sighed. He realized that he knew exactly who owned the book. The boy fought back tears as he remembered his late aunt, the homicidal doctor. He gathered his composure and stuffed the book under the left breast of his frock. He then held his left arm tight to his body in order to conceal the object under his clothes.

Well...he always aspired to develop a scientific acumen just as his aunt possessed. And he _was_ quite curious. Why not?

The boy quickly exited the library and rushed towards the direction of his bedchambers. He certainly could not be caught with such a sordid article in public!

 **Author's Note:**

It should really go without saying, but any further reference to homosexuality or "perversions" is not my personal beliefs on sexual orientation. I am instead referencing some older beliefs of the time and how homosexuality was often conflated with fetishes and aberrant behavior.

 **End note**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Lightning pierced the candle-lit bedroom. A thunderous boom soon followed. It was half an hour after dinner and Ciel was still engrossed in the first few chapters of the text. He found the descriptions of circumcision surgery to be sickening, however, it was the illustrations of the masturbatory acts that intrigued him. He felt his lower regions tighten as he thought of them. Sure, he had experimented before. But something about the chapter comforted him. The Earl felt another twinge and winced. Before discovering the book, he would avoid the temptation as much as possible. He would pace a room, think of his daily prayers, imagine the spirits of his parents looking down upon him from Heaven—anything to interrupt his stirrings. Instead, Ciel now felt validated. He flipped the pages to a particularly graphic illustration of a man and a woman pleasuring each other. He closed his eyes and lost himself to the sounds of rain against the bedroom windows.

In the kitchen of Phantomhive Manor, Sebastian, Baldo, and Mey-Rin were cleaning the mess created from dinner. Tanaka retired early as he usually did. Mey-Rin had just finished sweeping the floor, Baldo was at work scrubbing the inside of the oven, and Sebastian was layering strawberry slices on top of a fresh genoise cake. At that moment the back door abruptly opened.

"Plu-Plu, _NOOO_!"

Pluto, in his human form, scurried into the kitchen on all fours. Finny ran after him in the kitchen, oblivious to the fact that both of them tracked in mud and water from the outside thunderstorm. Sebastian calmly walked over to the nude dog-man and cast a searing gaze with slitted eyes. Pluto stopped running and cowered at the butler's heels.

Mey-Rin grabbed a dish rag and hastily ran over to clean the mess. The maid unknowingly stepped into a puddle and slipped backward. Sebastian swiftly caught her in his arms. The clumsy maid blushed furiously as her embarrassed face met his annoyed one.

"Are you...are you able to walk?" he sighed

"Um...yes."

Sebastian had half a mind to drop her and then walk away. But instead, he drew his lips into a faint smile, flicked a wayward lock of his hair out of the way, and helped the hapless maid to steady herself. He then strolled over to the cake that he had so meticulously decorated and placed it onto a serving trolley.

"Before anything unfortunate happens to this dessert, I will be sure to serve at least a sliver of it to the Young Master. Finny, if you would please wipe down that damned hound and board him in the cellar? Mey-Rin, please do us all a favor and retire for the evening. Thank you. Baldo, please finish cleaning the oven and stove-range and I will deal with the rest. I will see you all tomorrow morning as usual."

With a satisfied smile, Sebastian exited the kitchen and disappeared into the shadows of the manor.

A gloved hand knocked three times on the door to Ciel's bedroom.

"Bocchan? I have your evening snack."

The young Earl jerked his body upright in shock and then quickly dove underneath the duvet covers. At that moment he noticed that the book had fallen off of the bed to his left.

"One minute, Sebastian!" he shouted as he stretched his arm at its full length to reach it.

Sebastian cocked his ear towards the door. A sly grin slowly formed.

Ciel was able to reach the book and slide it under his bed. He then hopped under the duvet, careful to sit in such a way as to not expose his _condition_ under the fabric.

"You may come in now." Ciel attempted to breathe deeply and calm himself down.

The raven-haired demon entered the room and pulled the trolley close to the boy's bed. He began slicing the treat and setting it onto a serving dish.

"Young Master, I have prepared for you a French-style _genoise_ sponge cake with strawberries and buttercream topping. I hope that it is to your liking. As for tea, I—"

Sebastian stopped when he turned around to face his master and took a good long look at him. The young Earl was sitting under the covers of his bed but was still wearing his brass-button frock, fastened up to the neck.

Sebastian handed Ciel the dish while suppressing a smile.

"My lord, if you were planning to retire early then you should have called for me. I would have changed you into your nightwear."

"Well...I. It was nothing. I just wanted a quick nap. And I was cold. So I just slept with my day clothes on. It's not a problem at all."

Ciel cursed himself for not taking off the garment earlier. He knew that he must have looked terribly stuffy. He sighed and took a bite of the cake. Perhaps he was being too paranoid? The boy then caught Sebastian glancing on the floor at the front of the bed where Ciel had flung his shorts and stockings.

"I suppose only _half_ of your body was cold?" the demon asked incredulously.

The flustered young Earl's mind began to race.

"Yes! And what of it?"

"Nothing at all, Bocchan. I will just collect them and iron them so that they will not wrinkle."

Once Sebastian began to reach down for the clothes, Ciel's breath hitched in panic. _The book!_

"Hmm, how curious."

Sebastian's head was now turned sideways and facing something under the bed. It took every ounce of willpower in his human form to not laugh at the situation he caught his master in.

" ' _Sexual Organs_ … _and Perversions..._? Is this yours', Bocchan?"

Ciel stayed put in the bed and played coy to the best of his abilities. _This cannot be happening to me!_

" _What_? I have no earthly idea what you are talking about! Explain, man!"

The amused demon picked up the book and walked it over to Ciel's bedside. He then continued serving the tea.

"I see...It's probably Mey-Rin's." blurted the boy.

"Hmm?" The butler's brow arched in mock curiosity. He had to admit that watching the brat squirm brought immense pleasure to him. The demon handed Ciel a cup of tea and watched intently as the boy tried to gulp it while still piping hot.

"Ow. Yes. I mean...everyone knows about that girl's unnaturally high libido. And she is always reading on the job! Yes, I'm certain of it now. She must have been reading it while she was supposed to be cleaning my room and then she hid it for later. In fact, I could have sworn that I noticed her reading it a few days back."

The cunning butler nodded in agreement.

"Wonderful detective work, my lord. But if you don't mind me saying, there is nothing wrong with a high libido. And there is equally nothing wrong with expanding one's mind in regards to _all_ subjects. Regardless of this current era's qualms, I assure you that sexual education is just as important for a young man as a noble education. So I'll just leave this with you to peruse at your leisure."

The butler set the book down on Ciel's nightstand and retrieved the empty dish from the blushing boy's lap. Ciel bristled uncomfortably as the dish left his lap.

"Are you alright, Bocchan? Perhaps it's time for your bath."

Before Ciel could react, Sebastian removed the duvet cover for a brief moment. Ciel immediately yanked it back. Speechless, Ciel dropped his head in shame.

"Oh my! I apologize for being so clueless. My mistake."

Ciel remained silent. He kept his head lowered and patiently waited for Sebastian to leave his side. Never in his wildest dreams did he think that he would accidentally expose his arousal to his butler!

After several moments of Ciel still refusing to make eye contact, he lifted up the boy's chin so that their gaze could meet.

"Please," pleaded Sebastian softly as his fingers unfastened Ciel's eyepatch.

"Please do not be ashamed." Sebastian's hand rested on Ciel's cheek. He stroked it softly as he studied his contract seal in Ciel's eye.

Sebastian leaned in closer towards Ciel's face, causing the teen a mild panic. The man then whispered into his ear.

"I understand. I'll give you some time alone."

Sebastian then walked away from the bed and entered the washroom. Despite the source of his embarrassment being gone, Ciel's cheeks still burned with shame. He could almost still feel the man's hot breath on his ear. As Ciel heard the running water in the next room, he tried to focus his attention on anything but that blasted book or that strange butler.

While performing their nightly rituals, Sebastian could not help but notice a change in the boy. Whenever the manservant had to touch him while washing his hair, the boy's body would stiffen—almost as if he was afraid of losing himself to the ministrations. While toweling him off, the teen grabbed the towel and took care of it himself.

When the time came for Sebastian to dress him in the bedroom, Ciel could not keep eye contact with him. Sebastian sighed as he finished pulling the nightgown over the young charge.

"Bocchan, are you truly going to act like this from now on?"

Without answering, Ciel slipped under his bedsheets and waited for Sebastian to extinguish the candelabra and bid him a good night. Instead, Ciel was greeted without warning by his butler's embrace.

"Wha—! What are you—?"

Sebastian's strong arms were wrapped tightly around Ciel's arms and torso. Ciel's face was pressed against the man's firm chest. He could feel Sebastian's cheek on top of his head. This affectionate behavior was strange even for his peculiar butler.

"I know that you have problems with touch," Sebastian spoke softly, "Ever since we escaped the cult, you have been that way with everyone. Except for me. It took a lot of work to earn your trust. To prove to you that I intend to protect you with my entire being. Please, my lord. When I say that you have nothing to be ashamed of with me, I fully mean it. What you are going through is quite natural and you don't have to hide from me. Of all people, I would hope that you would have nothing to hide from me."

Sebastian slowly released the boy from the embrace. Ciel stared at him in confusion. He never expected his demon butler to be hurt so deeply by anything—let alone by something as inconsequential as shyness. He may have misjudged him after all. Sebastian's garnet eyes did not convey sadness. It was more akin to disappointment.

"I'm...sorry," Ciel muttered.

"Do not fret. Sleep well, my lord."

Sebastian blew out the candelabra and left the boy's bedchambers.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter** **3**

Church bells rang as the Ciel entered a chapel. As he opened the large oaken doors, he witnessed a congregation that disturbed him to his core. He could not help but notice that every guest was dressed in their most somber black suits and dresses. Many were sobbing pitifully.

 _Why are they crying?_

While walking down the aisle, the boy approached a pew with familiar faces. His dear betrothed Elizabeth Midford sobbed loudly and clung to her servant for comfort. Tears dropped onto the black frills of her dress. Ciel wanted so desperately to reach out and wipe a tear from her delicate cheeks—but _something_ stopped him. He did not know what it was, but _something_ prevented him from being able to move his hand towards her.

Seated in the same row were the servants of the Phantomhive household. Mey-Rin sat next to Lizzy and was clearly suppressing tears with every sigh that escaped her body. Next to her was poor Finny. The sensitive boy was attempting to maintain an air of strength and stoicism but his eyes and cheeks were red and puffy from despair. To Finny's right sat Baldo. The former soldier sat upright and dignified. In the pew in front of them sat Prince Soma and Agni. Prince Soma was just as distraught and tearful as Lizzy. Agni looked on, stonefaced as ever.

 _Where is Sebastian?_

Ciel immediately turned his gaze to a long black coffin on the church's platform. It was ornately decorated with mother of pearl and gold trim. He turned back to face the pews and waited for a response. The somber congregation seemed to pay no notice to their good friend standing next to them. It was as if they were in their own world of suffering.

 _Who...who is that for?_

The young Earl felt his hands tremble in anxiety.

 _No one can see me. Everyone I know is crying. Sebastian is nowhere to be seen. This cannot be._

With every step the youth took, he felt his heart throb. Was it is heart or his doomed soul beating in anticipation?

When Ciel was close enough to approach the open coffin, he stepped back in horror. His jaw dropped and he clenched his hands into fists.

 _This is wrong! This is perverse! How? How can this be?_

Within the plush velvet confines of the coffin laid Ciel's pallid corpse. His eyepatch had been removed and both of his eyes were shut. His hands were folded across his chest and he was dressed in his best black suit. For once in his young life, he looked peaceful.

Ciel reeled. He felt bile rising up to his throat as his heart began to race. The boy clutched his chest to stop his throbbing heart. Immediately after doing so he felt his fingers _continue reaching_. He looked downwards at his chest and screamed.

His hands were not gripping his chest. Instead, his entire fist was deep inside of where his heart was supposed to be. Ciel craned his neck and saw that he could see straight through his torso to the other side. There was no viscera or blood pouring from the opening. Just darkness where tissue should be.

Ciel screamed as he ripped the bed covers away from him. Cold sweat plastered his night shirt against his back. He scanned the dark room before laying back down on the bed. He sighed a breath of relief and closed his eyes. Despite the relief, he still felt intense sadness. Something like this always happened. He would be plagued by ghastly nightmares, usually about the cult, and then wish that he had someone to comfort him. This dream felt different from the others but the end result was always the same. As much as it embarrassed him to think of his mother and father embracing him as a child, he could not help but think fondly of those times. He had not felt this lonely in months.

 _Please! I can't be alone like this._

Within moments, Sebastian opened the doors to his chambers and entered. Ciel was shocked at the demon's prompt response to his mental call. Sebastian did not usually bother to check on him when he had nightmares. And he was almost certain that he did not use his Faustian bond to call him...

"I apologize for barging in, my lord," he said, "Was it just a nightmare?"

Ciel turned his head towards the butler and strained his eyes in the darkness.

"Um. Yes. It was nothing. Just another bad dream."

Sebastian walked over to the bed and draped his hand over the youth's forehead. He brushed away his dark locks that were slick with sweat. Ciel admitted to himself that the man's caress was not an unpleasant feeling.

"Hmm. Whatever you were dreaming about must have been terrible. You're hot to the touch. Shall I fetch you some cold water to drink?"

"No. That's quite alright Sebastian."

Sebastian nodded and turned to exit the bedroom.

"Wait. Sebastian?"

"Yes, Bocchan?"

Ciel shrugged his shoulders sheepishly before speaking.

"Well...Could you just stay with me until I fall asleep?"

Sebastian smiled.

"As you wish, my lord."

He sat down on the chair next to Ciel's bed and bid him good night.

The boy attempted to make himself comfortable on the plush bed. In a matter of minutes he was half awake and half in a dream state. During this strange state, Ciel suddenly felt a pair of soft lips brush against his forehead. He soon felt that familiar hot breath on his ear.

"Sleep well, Master."

The rest of Ciel's day was normal as usual. He ate breakfast, spent hours pouring over Funtom documents, sat through a meeting with potential partners, and then took a break for lunch. Despite completing these tasks with his usual attentiveness, something still lingered in the back of his mind.

The young Earl was enjoying his lunch on the garden patio. He absentmindedly played with his salad as he racked his brain for answers. Throughout the day Ciel would think back to that night. He remembered drifting off to sleep when he felt a pair of delicate lips touch his head. He could almost feel the man's hot breath whispering into his ear.

 _Was it just a dream?_

Ciel felt a slight shiver travel up his spine. He gripped the fork and staked a bunch of spinach leaves in an effort to distract himself.

 _If it wasn't a dream, then it was overly familiar of him! He has been quite inappropriate lately._

At that moment Sebastian entered the patio with a tea trolley. Ciel grimaced. The butler always seemed to arrive at the precise moment whenever he so much as thought about him!

"Unpleasant meeting, Young Master?"

Ciel put aside the dish filled with spinach shreds and picked up the cup of tea that was placed in front of him. He no longer had much of an appetite.

"Yes, you could say that. Those blasted Americans and their butchering of the language. It took every ounce of strength I had not to interrupt him mid-sentence and correct him."

The butler smiled as he watched the teen continue drinking his handiwork.

"Ah yes. Their accent and vocabulary are quite queer. I remember that it took me a while to lose the Appalachian-Virginian accent after one of my contracts ended. I needed it in order to blend in as a poor Virginian and it seemed to stick."

The boy raised his eyebrow in curiosity as Sebastian began to prune the nearby rosebush. Now _that_ is something he would have paid to hear.

"Aye? You've been to America? When was this?"

"Hmmm… I believe it was during the 1810s," replied the butler without turning away from his work, "Decent woman. Delicious soul, really. Despite her, it was a time that I am glad to be over with. But she made it more bearable."

"I'm curious. Is there a story?"

The man chuckled while still tending to the shrubbery.

"Well...let's just say that she and I had a _special arrangement_ along with my normal contractual obligations."

Ciel pinched the space between his eyebrows in disgust.

"You didn't…"

"Ah, but I did. I pitied her. Poor girl was the plantation master's wife and he was always off philandering well into the night." Sebastian gathered the teacup and other tea paraphernalia onto the cart.

"Helping her in her time of need was the gentlemanly thing to do." the man smirked with self-satisfaction.

Ciel rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to justify it to me, idiot! Everyone knows of your reputation."

The demon grinned at the boy in amusement.

"Do they now? And what reputation may that be, if I may ask?"

The Earl huffed and ignored his inquiry while his manservant disappeared with the trolley. Ciel did not delude himself into thinking that his demon butler actually slept through the night just as he himself did. He long ago suspected that along with finishing up his nightly tasks at the manor, that he must also go on nocturnal strolls through nearby villages and through London whenever he was in the mood. It was on these suspected nocturnal strolls that Ciel supposed that he must have found ways to entertain himself with the local women. It seemed that whenever the boy and his servant would pass through the villages or through greater London for errands, there was always a gaggle of women gossipping about the tall, handsome man who accompanied him. On one occasion Ciel "accidentally" eavesdropped on such gossip when Sebastian entered a store without him. Word of his butler's prowess traveled quickly through the town, that much was certain. Ciel considered disciplining Sebastian for allowing himself to be the center of gossip. After all, a noble household's servants represented the family almost as much as the heir did. He decided against it when he realized that punishing him would require acknowledging Sebastian's reputation—something that the demon would certainly take perverse pleasure in.

The boy knew that while he was disgusted at Sebastian's base behavior, he could not deny that a small part of him was a bit envious of the attention he received. The youth realized that he was at an odd age. He disliked the fussiness and mercurial nature of women, especially such as that of young girls like Elizabeth. And yet he secretly wished that older, more mature women would fawn over his looks and charm as they did with his butler. It was as if the small boy inside of him still found the weaker sex annoying and abhorrent, but his _new_ self was quite drawn to them. He simply could not understand it. Ciel quickly retreated into the mansion. He only had one more hour of personal time before it was time for his violin lessons.

When Ciel entered his chambers, he eyed the troublesome book on his nightstand. It was precisely where Sebastian left it for him. The boy sighed, grabbed the book, and hopped on his bed. He might as well finish reading it. As Ciel was flipping through pages, he noticed that the last page of the Table of Contents was missing. He checked the end of the book for the corresponding chapters and discovered them to be missing as well. It was as if someone ripped out the last chapter from its binding. He was about to flip back to where he left off—at _Vaginal Stimulation_ —but an illustration on a page of the penultimate chapter caught his eye. Depicted was a lithograph of two men. One was standing upright without trousers and the second man was kneeling before him. The kneeling man's mouth was clearly imbibing the other's penis.

Ciel immediately felt a hot wave settle on his cheeks. He turned the pages to the beginning of the chapter and noted the title: " _Module Two—Homosexual Practices"_.

 _I see that this book covers the full gamut of behavior. Even the perverted. Well, peculiar as the topic is, there is nothing wrong with reading out of morbid curiosity._

Later that afternoon Ciel arrived in the parlor with his violin in hand for his lessons. Sebastian had been tuning the strings of his instrument while he waited for his charge. Ciel walked over to his music stand and awaited instruction from his teacher.

"Young Master, last time you had great difficulty with Tchaikovsky's piece. It is very challenging to learn. Are you sure that you wish to continue with it?"

Ciel nodded and flipped the page to where he left off. He positioned the violin's base under his chin and began to play the first few notes of _Violin In D Major Op. 35_. What type of Phantomhive would he be if he refused to master a challenge? Ciel continued for only a few seconds before faltering. He cursed under his breath. During his last lesson, he played so much better!

"Do not get flustered," chided Sebastian, "Pay attention to your strokes. Like this."

In the flash of an eye, Sebastian's hands moved like lightning on the instrument. Ciel suppressed a frown and instead tried to pay attention to his technique as best as he could. Although frustrated, he could not blame Sebastian for being perfect at everything he touched.

"Now you try, Young Master. Slowly this time. Just try to hit accurate notes."

Once again the teen readied his bow and resumed playing a segment of the piece. This time he played at a much slower measure and seemed to be doing fine. When he attempted the same arrangement at a slightly faster pace, his accuracy began to decline.

Sebastian shook his head in disapproval and walked over to Ciel until he was behind him. The man swiftly set his instrument against the wall behind them and then wrapped his arms around Ciel from behind. The boy's head was now held in place by Sebastian's chin.

"What are you _doing_?" asked the boy frantically.

Sebastian removed Ciel's hands from the neck and grabbed his bow. He then placed his fingers in position on the instrument.

"Pay attention to my technique. Watch carefully."

To the Earl's amazement, the man played the dizzying arrangement at full speed. Even having to hunch over a person and crane his neck did not seem to impede him! Ciel tried to focus on the man's immaculate fingers, but he found himself feeling extremely self-conscious. Here he was, a specimen of utter perfection in human form, and the boy was hypnotized by him. It was not just the man's musical talent that intimidated him. It was his masterful fingers plucking and strumming with calculated timing. It was his firm arms and lean torso trapping him and holding him. It was his dark scent that lingered on his raven hair and his freshly pressed suit. And most damning of all, it was his heat that emanated from the exposed flesh of his mouth and neck.

In a flash, Ciel remembered the images of the men from his book. Men kissing each other, pleasuring each other. Even holding each other in the way that Ciel was being held.  
At that moment the teen felt his cheeks burn with a familiar warmth. His body began to ache and stiffen. He cursed himself.

 _This...this cannot be happening! This makes no sense! I'm no pervert...I wonder...does he know?_

The boy's heart raced as paranoia flooded his brain. Every movement from Sebastian sent shockwaves through his now sensitive body.

 _I need to go. I cannot let him see me like this. If he does not already know, then he certainly will._

"Sebastian! Stop this at once!"

Sebastian stopped mid-note and removed the bow from the strings. Ciel snatched his violin from his butler's grasp. He quickly broke away from the man and exited the parlor. He strategically held the instrument from its neck so that its broad body obscured exactly what he wanted. Sebastian followed him through the oaken doors.

Ciel was about to ascend the stairs when his butler pleaded with him.

"What is the matter, master? I was only trying to show you—"

"Yes, Sebastian! I understand perfectly what you were trying to do."

Ciel stood with his back to the demon. He did not even bother to turn around to face him.

"I'm just...I'm absolutely fed up with music for the evening. I will just have to try the piece another time."

As Ciel disappeared up the flight of stairs and entered his chambers, Sebastian remained unmoved. The man grinned with satisfaction. His plan was certainly working.

-:-:-:-:-

Ciel laid in his bed and sighed pathetically. He stared at his ceiling as he replayed the events leading up to his bed time. After the uncomfortable violin lesson, he tossed the "perverted" book under his bed and waited to be called for dinner. When dinnertime arrived, Ciel attempted to act normally around Sebastian, but all that he succeeded in doing was creating a noticeable silence. He did not speak a word to Sebastian, Baldo, or any other servant present. He avoided eye contact throughout the meal and excused himself early due to not having as much of an appetite as he usually did.

This behavior did not go unnoticed by Sebastian. During the teen's bathtime, Ciel allowed Sebastian to touch him as necessary, but there were still times when Ciel had to grit his teeth and suppress his instinct to bristle at contact. Something happened to the boy in the past few days and it changed how he saw his butler. The tall, sexually experienced, intimidating, man now represented a genuine threat to his sexuality. His stomach fluttered in panic whenever the demon so much as returned his gaze. His skin tingled with unseen electricity every time the man's gloved fingers toweled him down or combed his hair. Ciel only felt these powerful sensations from occasional embraces from Elizabeth, or from the stares of pretty maidens at the rare social functions he was invited to. How dare Sebastian incite these ridiculous responses in him! They are reserved for women alone. What would Mother and Father say? Ciel closed his eyes as he let sleep wash over him. He would be damned if he allowed thoughts of Sebastian keep him from a good night's rest.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Ciel found himself lying on a carpeted floor. He raised his head to scan his surroundings and he realized that he was in a church. Sitting in the pews around him were familiar faces as well as strange ones. Why did he feel as if he had been here before? After he raised himself onto his hands and knees to stand, he screamed and stumbled while clutching his chest. The boy looked down at his chest and saw that there was a hole straight through it. Dark shadowy viscera dripped from the wound. No blood or muscle could be seen. Ciel stared at his wound in confusion as the area around the opening throbbed in intense pain. Before the youth could study the opening any further, the church doors slammed open, causing him to snap his head towards the entrance. What Ciel witnessed caused him to scream in abject horror. He wanted to crawl away on his hands and knees and bear the pain, but his body was frozen as if under a strange spell. At first his heart jumped as he saw the strange shadowy figures walk towards him. Once the figures were close enough to be seen, tears streamed down his cheeks as he finally realized what stood before him.

The two dark figures staggered and limped their way down the aisle. They moved slowly and stiffly—as if they were severely injured. Aside from their feet shuffling against the crimson carpet, they were silent. As they moved closer to him, the sobbing boy felt his throat clamp up tight in panic. All of his air left his lungs. The figures were covered head to toe in black ash. Their faces were not easily discernable but the dress and heels of one figure revealed it to be a woman and the suit and ascot tie of the other figure revealed it to be male. Ciel choked and gasped for air as the specters advanced. They were now only a few feet away. The male wraith reached out towards the boy, but its arm crumbled to ash. Soon enough both figures were dissipating into piles of the wretched dust.

Ciel sat up in his bed screaming and sobbing. Sweat beaded his face and back. His throat was hoarse from the endless shrieking. Out of all of his most treacherous nightmares, he was never affected by them quite like this one affected him. Before the youth knew what happened, Sebastian was walking towards his bedside. He did not even realize that he was in the room until that moment.

"Young Master, are you alright? You had a bad dream."

The butler sat at his bedside and wiped away the sweat that drenched his bangs.

"Sebastian... " the boy huffed in between sobs, "It was...it was my parents. It felt so real. So real I could just... _aah_!"

Ciel was interrupted by his own cries. His face burned with fear and embarrassment.

"I'm just...so scared. I'm so scared!" he trembled. The youth grabbed at Sebastian's arms in desperation. Ciel had never felt this hopeless in his life. It seemed as if every one of his anxieties was suffocating him all at once.

The man frowned at the pitiful sight before him. His face portrayed an empathetic show of pain, but his cruel scarlet eyes briefly flickered in the darkness. He wrapped his arms around the boy in a close embrace.

"Don't be afraid, Bocchan. It's over now."

Ciel never thought that he would ever welcome a hug from Sebastian, but at that moment it was exactly what he needed. The boy returned it and savored the man's warmth. It seemed to be the only thing that could comfort him.

 _What is wrong with me? I'm never this afraid_.

The boy felt weak and languid. Was it the crying that exhausted him? He was not sure. All that he knew was that he needed Sebastian to be at his side. He needed to feel secure. After a few moments, he could almost fall asleep against his butler's firm body. Sebastian seemed to sense this and whispered into his ear.

"Bocchan, do you wish to go back to sleep?"

There it was again. That familiar hot breath.

"Um. I don't know…I just. I feel comfortable."

Sebastian nodded and resumed holding his charge. A few moments later he lightly kissed the top of the teen's head. He then placed several more kisses in his hair. Ciel lifted his head until he was facing Sebastian. He wanted to tell him that he was being annoying but his mind felt fuzzy for some reason. Truth be told, he was enjoying all contact with his butler at the moment, but he knew that a line was being crossed. Sebastian placed more light kisses on Ciel's forehead—gradually moving down to his cheeks. Ciel felt strange. Was this really happening? Sebastian's kisses slowly traveled to the boy's lips. Once the man's lips brushed against them, Ciel felt an almost electric sensation. Before the teen could process what just happened, Sebastian's hand was entangled in his hair and his lips were capturing his mouth. As Sebastian deepened the kiss, Ciel's confused mind slipped away. The demon eventually broke the kiss and briefly tucked Ciel back under the sheets—almost as if he just realized his transgression.

"Back into bed, Young Master. Sleep well."

Before the butler could walk away from the bed, the boy grabbed him by his arm.

"Wait. Sebastian?"

A sinister grin crept across the man's face. His serpentine eyes flickered like embers. He remembered to instantly switch his grin to a look of concern as soon as he turned to face the young Phantomhive boy.

"Bocchan… I deeply apologize for my inappropriate behavior. I simply couldn't help myself."

Ciel paused as he realized what his butler just told him. He had been blushing this entire time but he felt himself grow even more flustered.

" 'Couldn't help yourself'? Are you...are you fond of me Sebastian? In an intimate way?"

The demon took a half step back in shock. Ciel was normally very guarded about emotional talk. He did not expect him to be so direct.

"Well of course. I have always been quite fond of you. And my fondness for you has only grown in these last few years. Just as you yourself have grown."

Ciel then turned away from the man's gaze to stare at his fidgeting hands. He had much to ponder over. The truth was that he always felt a strong bond with Sebastian. His companionship was the most intimate relationship he ever felt with another being aside from his late parents, and to a lesser extent, Tanaka. Was this the natural progression for their relationship? From reading countless novels, Ciel always wondered what his first truly romantic experience would be like. Even his arranged engagement to Elizabeth did not quite elicit the feelings of love that he expected he would have. Romance was not something that preoccupied him too much, so it always seemed like a nebulous concept. Due to his almost theoretical concept of love, it did not bother him that his relationship with Elizabeth was mostly devoid of it. He had deep affections for the girl and they occasionally crossed over into mild infatuation. But not enough for him to feel exceptional passion or lust. Could a male be his compatible lover? A _demon_ male at that?

"Do not worry yourself over it," Sebastian quickly retorted, "Regardless of how I feel, I am certain that you are much too young for such affections."

The youth then glared at the butler. He clearly took umbrage at the remark.

"I am not. I am more than capable of reciprocating these affections. And in case you were also wondering, I have desires as well."

Ciel left the bed and walked towards Sebastian. He embraced the man and grabbed his chin to drag him into a forceful kiss. The demon was surprised by his Young Master's forwardness. He softly chuckled at Ciel's attempts to deepen it just as he had done for him.

-:-:-:-:-

It was the grey hours of early morning when Sebastian left Ciel's room. He could hear the boy snoring softly as he quietly closed the door. He silently walked down the stairs of the Phantomhive manor and traversed the cavernous hallways into the kitchen. The butler fastened an apron around his waist and began creating pastry dough. He could not help but smile wickedly as he replayed the events leading up to that early morning. The poor youth could have never known that his butler had been manipulating his dreams this whole time. Nor could he have known that Sebastian could use his scent to charm humans into letting their guard down. The boy fell into every trap he set for him. Like a desperate rodent that got its limbs caught in one mousetrap after the other. Like a moth to a flame.

The man then stored the pastry sheets in the icebox. He needed it to stiffen while he worked on the filling. He pulled several apples from a fruit basket and began slicing them in quick succession. As he sliced, he replayed the more intimate events from that morning and chuckled in delight. They did not go _too_ far, thankfully. There would be plenty of time for more _activities_. He did not want to traumatize him just yet. Nor did he want the boy to feel used. Instead he let Ciel lead most of their actions. Well, as much as an inexperienced lad could.

 _He truly is a quick study. How cute!_

Despite the sexual nature of this exploitation, Sebastian derived far more pleasure from corrupting the teen—as was expected for a demon of his nature. Except for his occasional nocturnal outings, it was rare that he was lascivious for his own sake. Usually sexual gratification was just a mere perk of a greater plan of his: extracting information, soul grooming, etc. Sebastian finished wrapping the turnovers and he placed them in the oven. He then retreated into the pantry to select a tea. While inside the pantry he could hear the other Phantomhive servants exit their dormitory and head to the kitchen to eat their breakfast. Sebastian sighed. He would have to make sure that all _activities_ with the young Earl were conducted as discreetly as possible. The last thing he needed on his plate was for the servants to suspect impropriety.

Just as he did every morning, Sebastian rolled the breakfast trolley into the young Earl's room. Ciel was still in deep sleep, unaware of the presence in his chambers. Sebastian walked over to the windows and hesitated before pulling on the curtain strings. Instead of drawing them as he normally did at this time, he approached the boy's bedside and ran his fingers through his dark locks. Ciel slowly stirred.

"Five more minutes…"

The demon chuckled and leaned in towards the teen's face. He planted a soft kiss on his lips. Ciel's eyes instantly fluttered awake. A deep blush appeared on his cheeks when he felt his butler's hot breath so close to his face.

"Oh. Good morning."

"And a good morning to you, Young Master." His lips curled into the sweetest smile he could muster, "I see that I may have tired you out this morning?"

"Um...no. I'm fine." the blushing boy tried to regain his composure.

"Good to hear that, Bocchan. And now that you are fully awake, I believe that we should talk about some rather serious matters."

"Oh?"

"Yes. You see Bocchan, I adore you and care about you dearly. Would you say the same of me?"

"...Yes." Ciel mumbled softly.

"Right. Well as I'm sure that you are aware of, our arrangement would draw a great deal of judgment if others suspected that we had a relationship more intimate than master and servant."

"Of course!" replied Ciel sharply. He felt sick as he imagined anyone else finding out. Even minor rumors of such a thing could cause problems for his noble reputation. It would disgrace the Phantomhive name and possibly result in judicial action against both of them. Regardless of who initiated.

"For that reason it is very important that we keep our true relationship a secret and our activities discreet. Understood?"

Ciel nodded somberly. He shuddered as he began to think about what he had gotten himself into.

Sebastian then smiled and resumed drawing the curtains. He then rolled the trolley towards the Earl's bedside. It was as if the conversation never happened. Regardless of their new status as more than master and servant, the butler was still as professional as always. For some strange reason, the boy felt his chest lurch when he realized that Sebastian was about to leave him. Ciel waited patiently for Sebastian to touch him once more before leaving his room. Instead, the dutiful butler exited the chamber doors with the trolley. The boy sighed and bit into a warm turnover. The breakfast pastry was baked to perfection, but his mind was so preoccupied that it may as well had been plaster.

After the boy finished eating breakfast, Sebastian returned to dress him for the day. Although he did not receive a kiss this time, he could have sworn there were times when the man's fingers lingered on his bare skin a second too long. The possibility drove Ciel mad. For the rest of the morning Ciel felt as if he were in a daze. Soon it was late morning and he found himself slouching at his bureau and rereading the same paragraphs of a Funtom document over and over again. The young scion pinched his brow in frustration and threw the pen across his desk. For the first time in his life his brilliant mind felt like mush. Every thought about the Funtom contract before him morphed into thoughts about his contract with Sebastian. Every thought about his contract with Sebastian led to thoughts about his bond with the demon. And those very thoughts about that bond always led to him replaying events from early that morning. Is he doomed to obsess over his butler forever?

The truth was that he has always been fascinated with Sebastian. His preternatural instincts and wealth of experience was a true match for a precocious mind such as Ciel's. His stories of past lives and contracts often triggered the boy's innate curiosity even though he tried not to seem impressed. And then of course there was always that _**other**_ part of him. That _new_ Ciel that often envied the man for his sexual conquests. That new part of him felt intimidated by the man's prowess. Intimidated by his physicality. For months he suspected that Sebastian's skills were not limited to women alone, and now he knew from first hand experience that he is a far gifted lover than Ciel could have ever imagined at such a tender age. The question remained: did he want to be him or did he carnally want him? The Earl sighed and rested his head on the desk. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about the new anxiety that flooded his mind. What had he gotten himself into?

It was a little while after noon when Sebastian entered the Earl's study.

"Young Master, for lunch I—"

Sebastian paused when he turned and noticed that the boy was fast asleep and sprawled over his desk. The demon chuckled and walked over to his charge. He leaned over and whispered into the boy's ear.

"Wake up, Young Master. Don't sleep the day away."

The boy stirred and rubbed his eyes before lowering his head again. He mumbled something incoherent. Sebastian smirked. He whispered once more.

"Perhaps for the future, I shouldn't engage in nighttime activities with you. Lest you be too tired for the rest of the day."

Ciel's eyes opened and his cheeks burned crimson. He glared at the butler in annoyance.

"I was only joking. Must you be so cross with me?" asked the butler with slight concern.

The young Earl sighed and straightened out the wrinkles in his cobalt-colored frock.

"Is there any reason I shouldn't be cross, Sebastian? I don't know how to read you sometimes. You...do those things with me. And then you act as if nothing happened. Or worse; you treat me as a child. I'm frustrated. Do you even desire me?"

Sebastian sighed and cupped the youth's cheek. Ciel pushed his arm away.

"Bocchan. I understand this must be confusing for you. But I have to be discreet with these matters. It would not be fitting with my Butler Aesthetics if I mixed such actions in with my daily work. There will be times in which I need to act as your butler, but there will also be times in which we can put that aside. I know that you aren't used to this kind of arrangement. Believe me,

I am more than aware of that."

Ciel kept his eyes averted and stared at the documents on his bureau. The man's gloved fingers reached for Ciel's chin once more and turned it to face him.

"I care for you. Never doubt that."

Sebastian delivered a chaste kiss on Ciel's cheek. Ciel gingerly touched the spot on his face and marveled at the sensation the kiss left behind. Sebastian chuckled to himself darkly as he retrieved the lunch.

 _Always keep them wanting more._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Mey-Rin descended down the cellar stairs with a feather duster and candle in hand. She gleefully skipped down the stone steps until she lost her footing. She caught herself before falling and the hapless maid cursed her clumsiness under her breath. Once she made it to the bottom of the cellar, she set the candle on top of one of the large wooden wine casks. The young woman then whipped out a small book from her skirt's pocket and began dusting the other casks after finishing every other page. The maid sighed as she reached a new chapter. The novel was a tawdry romance—her favorite genre. The story was an adult take on the classic _Beauty and The Beast_. It centered on a virginal young woman who gave herself to the reclusive "Beast of the Wood" in exchange for her father's debts. In this story, the "Beast" is a muscular man who transforms into a feral monster at night.

In broad strokes, the servant swept every cask, bottle, and carboy in the space while her eyes focused on the book in her hands. Every so often she would remember to look away from the current page in order to gauge her progress. Despite this tactic—or rather because of it—she left smeared patches of dust on the bottles and casks in her wake. Due to her lack of attention, Mey-Rin did not notice when she started dusting the fabric of a black waistcoat.

" _Ahh-hmm!_ "

The ditzy woman lifted her eyes off of the book to find a truly terrifying sight. Her superior, Sebastian Michaelis, emerged out of the shadows. He glared at her with pursed lips and cutting eyes.

" _AHHH!_ " Mey-Rin screamed. She dropped her book and sank to her knees.

"Sebastian I apologize! I was just dusting. J-just doing as I was told!"

The raven-haired man shook his head as he wet two gloved fingers with his mouth. He used those fingers to rub out the new dust spots as much as he could.

"Well, that is interesting. If I remember correctly, Mey-Rin, I told you to dust the washrooms, the parlor, the kitchen, Young Master's chambers, and to save the cellar for last. And here you are—dusting down here so early in the afternoon."

The young woman gulped out of fear. Sebastian took a step towards her and in response, she backed away. The man crouched over to pick up her discarded novel.

"I also remember telling you to stop reading while working," Sebastian commented as he turned over the book to read the cover, "Did I not say that?"

Mey-Rin's head dropped in an attempt to hide her blushing cheeks.

"Yes…"

Sebastian sighed hopelessly. He grabbed the feather duster out of Mey-Rin's hand and handed her a bottle of wine. Mey-Rin silently shuddered when his fingers brushed against hers.

"You don't need any more distractions, Mey-Rin. I'm taking your book for now and I will return it to you in the evening. I will also be taking care of the dusting down here while you work on scrubbing down the kitchen and the rest of your assignments. In the meantime, I need you to place that bottle in the ice box."

"Wine? What for?" asked the maid while still blushing slightly from her humiliation, "We aren't having any guests tonight?"

Sebastian cast her his trademark smirk.

"It is for the Young Master, of course. As a noble, it is about time that he developed a taste for wine. I believe that a _Moscato d'Asti_ would be the best choice for a beginner such as himself."

"Oh. Yes. Good choice, Sebastian." replied Mey-Rin.

-:-:-:-:-

Later that day it was time for Ciel's violin lessons. The boy briskly traipsed into the room with the instrument and sheet music in hand. As he arranged his sheets on his music stand, his butler waited for him with a knowing grin.

"I bet that I know what lesson you would like today, Young Master."

The boy ignored him as he turned the pages to the troublesome Tchaikovsky piece.

"Do not get flustered if it takes you some more practice to mast—,"

Before the demon could finish speaking, the first few haunting notes emanated from Ciel's strings. Fingers fluttered as the Earl furiously hit each note. Something flickered in Sebastian's scarlet eyes as Ciel inched closer and closer to the segment that troubled him. The anticipation almost made him sweat. To his surprise, the youth proceeded without error.

 _Blast_. _Oh well._

The truth was that he often loved to see the boy struggle. To see him frustrated and exhausted brought immense satisfaction to him. But of course, Ciel was too exemplary of a pupil. He never failed to live up to the Phantomhive name. As his Young Master finished playing, Sebastian was snapped out of his dark thoughts.

"Excellent work, Bocchan. You have proven yourself once again."

Ciel smiled mischievously.

"Was there ever any doubt?"

Sebastian took Ciel's violin from his hand and returned the smile.

"Of course not. But if I may suggest an idea: let's end the lesson early for the day and resume another time. That will give me time to select a new piece for you that you have not learned yet. You deserve a short break. I also have a surprise waiting for you at dinner."

"A surprise? Like my favorite meal?"

Sebastian shook his head and lightly pushed Ciel towards the parlor door.

"You will just have to wait and see. In the meantime, you have some free hours before dinner is served."

His butler left him and headed in the direction of the mansions' laundry room.

The young Earl shrugged and ascended the staircase towards his bedroom. He opened his door and was stunned by what he found. Leaning against his bedpost was Mey-Rin with her duster in her left hand and the damned book in the other. The young woman's cheeks burned red as she realized the situation she was in yet again.

"Oh! Master, I am so sorry! Oh my goodness! I was just…Curious about your book."

Ciel's own cheeks blushed at the discovery. Right behind him arrived Sebastian with Ciel's freshly pressed trousers and hosiery. Sebastian could not believe his luck.

 _Another opportunity to debase the Young Master!_

"You daft woman!" Sebastian's voice boomed, "You know well enough not to keep reading while working. I already confiscated one book of yours. That is _your_ book too, is it not?"

The silly maid dropped the book on the bed and immediately attempted to create distance.

"No, Sebastian! Not at all. Isn't it the master's? I have never seen it before. Honest!"

The young heir felt a lump in his throat as he realized the situation.

"Mey-Rin I am disappointed that you would lie like this." Sebastian's words were tinged with venom.

The bespectacled girl panicked. It was one thing to upset Ciel Phantomhive, but to upset both him and Sebastian Michaelis was a much graver issue.

"Sebastian, she could be telling the truth…" muttered Ciel sheepishly.

The dark-haired man then turned his attention to the boy.

"My lord, I remember very clearly how several days ago when you found the book, you told me that it 'must have been Mey-Rin's' and that you claimed to have seen her read it days before."

Mey-Rin's jaw dropped in horror. Ciel averted his gaze to the floor in shame.

"I…I lied. I found the book in the library. Mey-Rin had nothing to do with it. Mey-Rin, I apologize for my dishonesty. You may go now."

The girl felt as if a weight was lifted and she tried to leave as quickly as possible. As she slinked past Sebastian, she felt his gloved hand grab her wrist and whisper hastily into her ear.

"I will deal with you later. This has gone on long enough."

After the butler released her, Ciel sat down on his bed and sighed.

"Aren't you going to discipline me as well?" the boy asked.

Sebastian resumed walking towards the youth's wardrobe and carefully folded the clothes before placing them in the correct spot.

"You're not a child anymore. I will do no such thing. Not unless you _want_ me to, Young Master." he answered playfully as he closed the wardrobe.

"What?" the teen asked in confusion. He did not pick up on the innuendo at all.

"Never mind, my lord. You owned up to it and apologized like a true gentleman. The only reason that you lied to me the first time is because you were embarrassed. I can only hope that with our new arrangement, you no longer feel compelled to lie about such things again."

Ciel shrugged as he opened the book to the Table of Contents.

"I suppose so."

The teen stared intently at the missing page. His fingers traced the torn edge of the paper and silently read the listed chapters of the page right before.

 _Heterosexual Practices...Vaginal Penetration...Anal Penetration...Oral Penetration...Homosexual Practices….Homosexual Anal Penetration…_

"Something wrong, Bocchan?" asked Sebastian. If Ciel were paying attention he would have noticed that Sebastian's eyes were locked on the book the entire time.

Ciel closed the book and placed it on his nightstand for later reading.

"It's nothing, Sebastian. Nothing at all."

Sebastian nodded and then he reached into his jacket pocket and produced a lavender envelope.

"I meant to give this to you yesterday, my lord. My apologies."

The butler passed the mail to Ciel. Ciel already knew who the sender was from the floral stationery alone.

 _Dear Ciel,_

 _I know that you have been very busy lately with urgent matters. I am just reminding you of our monthly brunch date this Saturday. As always, I very much look forward to seeing you again._

 _Love,_

 _Your betrothed,_

 _Elizabeth_

"Ugh, " Ciel groaned and clutched his forehead, "I completely forgot. Damn."

Ciel stared at the letter and felt a familiar lump in his throat. He then balled up the letter and envelope, threw them across the room and rolled over onto the bed.

"Something wrong, Young Master?" asked Sebastian.

"Yes, there is something wrong. Everything about this is wrong…"

The butler walked over to his young charge's bedside and sighed.

"I knew that this would happen. I wanted to wait for the right time to give you her message. A futile endeavor, I suppose."

Ciel remained unmoved. Still staring at his ceiling.

"I just...I can't help but feel...guilt? What we are doing...it doesn't make sense."

The boy's servant crawled on top of the bed until he was now hovering over the boy and meeting his gaze.

"Love doesn't have to make sense." The boy was stunned. Neither one of them had ever called it _that_ word before.

"It is just that...we shouldn't be doing this. I have obligations. To Elizabeth. To my Phantomhive name. She already loves me and I have to be true to her. She is my fiancée. It doesn't make sense for me to... _love_ you. How much longer do I have on this earth until your purpose is complete? How much longer until you must take my soul? What good will your love be to me then?"

Sebastian lowered himself closer to Ciel's face. He stroked the Earl's cheek and let his scarlet eyes lock onto the boy's clear blue ones. He then used his hand to turn the boy's face sideways and then whispered into his ear.

"By that measure, my lord, what good will your obligation to Elizabeth be when you are dead?"

Ciel pushed Sebastian away from him and sat up straight so as to speak firmly to him.

"Sebastian, what vile thing are you suggesting?"

The demon stood up from the bed and smoothed out the wrinkles from his black jacket.

"I am merely pointing out exactly what you implied. You will not be on this earth much longer. Perhaps you will live to see your wedding day—perhaps not. Your obligation to marry her ultimately means nothing. So...might as well enjoy yourself while you are still here, no? It makes sense for you to keep up appearances with her. That doesn't mean that you have to save your affections for her alone. You wouldn't be the first noble who married for business but kept another for love or pleasure."

Ciel felt himself turning red from anger.

" _Yes,_ I know about sham marriages, Sebastian. For Christ's sake! But what makes you think that for a second I would want one? And why do you assume that I love you nearly as much as you seem to love me?"

Sebastian's smile slowly faded.

"Do you not love me?"

Ciel turned away from him as he tried to breathe slowly and choose his words carefully.

"I'm not sure. Honestly, I feel like I have just been following your lead most of the time. I feel something...but I don't know if it is love. This all just feels so sudden." Ciel's words felt bitter and acrid just to say out loud. He knew that they must have stung his butler even more.

"I understand, my lord," Sebastian bowed respectfully and slowly headed towards the bedroom door.

"Don't bother with dinner, Sebastian. I'm not hungry."

"Yes, Bocchan. I understand."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Baldroy chopped the leeks and potatoes as fast as he could. Preparing the ingredients was usually all that Sebastian allowed him to do these days. Cooking was off limits until he lost his compulsive need to expedite the process with explosives. Mey-Rin shuffled into the kitchen with her gaze locked on the ground. She worried about what the butler's punishment could possibly entail.

"Eh? What is your problem?" the chef asked bluntly.

The maid sighed and began collecting the potato skins and leek roots. "Well...I got in trouble with reading again. Sebastian is going to deal with me."

Baldo chuckled mirthfully and cast her a sly glance.

"Don't worry, love. Your _boyfriend_ will surely take it easy on you."

"WHAT?!" shouted Mey-Rin. The poor girl blushed with embarrassment, "He is no such thing! He is our superior. I don't view him that way at all!"

Baldo flinched as he nicked his thumb with the tip of the knife. He quickly dabbed at the spot with his tongue before eyeing the maid up and down.

"Uh huh. Admit it. You fancy him. And he knows it."

She huffed and finished gathering the vegetable trimmings into a wicker basket.

"He treats me the same as everyone else. I am nothing special."

The chef put down the knife to wrap his arms and shake his head in disbelief.

"But that isn't true. You're a beautiful woman."

Mey-Rin perked up at the comment.

"Oh?"

"Mey-Rin, don't pretend that you don't know. You are gorgeous. I notice. Finny notices. Tanaka notices. Even the Young Master can't help but sneak a peek at your bosom on occasion."

"WHAT!"

"Yup. We all look. We can't help it. All of us...well...except for Sebastian…"

Mey-Rin could not believe that Baldo was prying into such a topic. She whispered in hushed tones as her eyes scanned the room for eavesdroppers.

"He is just very professional."

"He is a man," barked the chef, "Even the most professional butler still has a pulse."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that I've been noticing some things these past few years."

"And...?"

"I've noticed that women fawn over him. He can have any woman he chooses. But he never seems to pay them much mind. At least not in our company. All he cares about is tending to the Young Master. He is very tender with him. Always near him. Last night the boy's screaming woke up the whole servant's corridor, remember that? Sebastian left his chambers to comfort him. I had a curious feeling about the whole thing, and so I waited for him to return to the corridor. Sebastian didn't return until—."

"He is the child's butler!" Mey-Rin was now whispering very loudly and realized she had to correct her volume, "I do not care to know what perverted gossip you are conceiving. I will have no part of it! If you value your job, then you will cease all mention of it before the wrong person hears you!"

"Until the wrong person hears what?"

Mey-Rin gulped as she realized who had just then silently entered the kitchen. Baldo resumed slicing the comestibles.

"Sebastian!" The maid squeaked. "We were talking about…"

Sebastian raised his hand to silence her. His face brimmed with a look of unmistakable annoyance.

"Baldo, you are doing an excellent job with those vegetables. If you don't mind, I will need to borrow Mey-Rin for a while. Follow me, dear."

The blond man nodded knowingly as the two left the kitchen in silence.

The maid suppressed a lump in her throat as they made their way to the parlor. The last time she disobeyed him, he instructed her to wash every window of the manor—starting with the parlor. As they passed the parlor and made their way to the staircase, she began to worry. As they made their way through the servants' dormitory, she felt uneasy. Once they made it to the door of Sebastian's office and chambers, she stopped at the door.

"Did I tell you to stop following me?" he asked from over his shoulder, "Close the door." The man sat down at his oak bureau and glared at her until she stood at his desk.

"Sebastian I promise that I—"

"Enough!"

Mey-Rin flinched and bowed her head to the ground.

"I am sick of your empty promises, Mey-Rin. I am sick of you disobeying my direct orders. I cannot tolerate any of this. You remember the service contract that you signed, correct?"

The young woman nodded. Her gaze did not leave the floor below her.

"Perhaps you are not a woman of your word. But I am a man who takes contracts very seriously. I expect just as much from my staff. You are here to serve the master to the best of your capacity. You cannot fulfill that agreement if your mind is constantly distracted. Good service means that you must always think several steps ahead. You must hold your charge in the highest consideration. Your _secondary_ assignment as a sniper is only that. Secondary. And while your talents in that area are indisputable, the way that you tend to your primary assignment is in dire need of reform."

The hapless maid gulped another painful lump back down into her throat.

"For this reason, I need to discipline you differently. Regular punishments do not seem to work on you. For your mind will always wander somewhere else. I need you to remember this lesson."

The butler then jerked his arm to point towards the wall next to her.

"Hands against the wall! Head down!"

The woman balked at his troubling order.

"Sebastian I—"

"Now!"

Mey-Rin stumbled over herself to complete the command. Her breath was haggard and her chest became heavy with fear. What would he possibly want to inflict on her? Before her mind could jump to the darkest of scenarios, the sound of his footsteps walking towards her was enough to send her into a panic. She did not dare peek over her shoulder. Without warning, she felt a searing pain against her bottom. Even through her uniform, she could feel the stinging outline of Sebastian's bare palm. He must have removed his glove at some point.

"If you are going to behave like a wayward schoolgirl, then perhaps you must be disciplined like one?"

She clenched her teeth as she felt another hard smack. Mey-Rin was shocked. Corporal punishment was infrequently used on the Young Master when he was a child. She never imagined that Sebastian would inflict it on a staff member.

"I'm sorry I—"

"Silence!" barked the butler. He struck her again as if to punctuate his command.

The maid's head dipped downwards as she accepted the situation. Her head lightly bumped the wall each time she was struck. Out of all of the punishments he ever dealt her, this one was by far the most humiliating.

Just as Sebastian was about to end the ordeal, he was suddenly struck with a most delicious idea. He needed to make this the punishment to end all punishments—hopefully. But how? He had a peculiar thought. She may not be the soul that he was contracted to devour. But what if she was? Then he would make sure to make the humiliation as disgusting and traumatizing as possible. In a swift movement, he used one arm to pin the woman against the wall and another to yank up her skirt. Mey-Rin bristled and whimpered in fear. Her legs began to tremble with panic. Sebastian was taken aback.

"Do not worry yourself. I would never force myself on a woman."

The raven-haired man focused his attention back to her bottom. He struck her panties-clad backside three more times. Mey-Rin then bucked her hips unexpectedly which caused Sebastian's hand to slip. He quickly recoiled in surprise. The woman slowly lowered to her knees with such abruptness that her spectacles fell to the floor. Her face was red with shame. She refused to face him.

Sebastian stared at her as he rubbed his newly moistened fingers together.

"Are you…? Are you aroused?" the butler asked in bewilderment.

Her body shuddered at the inquiry. The maid did not dare meet his gaze.

In that moment Sebastian was struck with an idea. He crouched down beside her and slowly stroked her hair. Surprised by his tenderness, Mey-Rin turned to face him. His pale, porcelain, features met hers. She could not break away from his haunting eyes. His garnet orbs that dripped with lust. They seemed to study every detail—her heart-shaped face, her plush lips. For the first time, Sebastian was finally studying her as countless other men had. While in her trance, the raven-haired man had snaked his fingers around her delicate chin. He slowly brought her soft mouth towards his own and closed the distance between them. The girl melted into his embrace as his lips danced along hers. She was overwhelmed with sensation. Was this truly happening? Surely it must be a dream? Before long, her mind lost all semblance of conscious thought. It did not take long before they were both on the floor. Mey-Rin shuddered in ecstasy as Sebastian nibbled and licked at her neck while on top of her. Sebastian began to remove her dress but stopped to pause above her face. With his hands still gripping the fabric, he stared at her longingly—as if to make a plea with his show of restraint. Mey-Rin nodded and was immediately met with another deep kiss.

-:-:-:-:-

Baldoroy tapped his foot with each tick of the kitchen clock. The chef had finished chopping vegetables about half an hour ago and Sebastian had not yet returned. The gruff man released a deep yawn and leaned against the wall with folded arms. His mind began to wander as his eyes slowly closed. His lack of sleep from the night before was finally catching up with him. It was not long before he heard familiar footsteps enter the kitchen and he jerked his body back to attention.

"Aye, Sebastian. I've been waiting. Everything is just as you wanted them."

The butler nodded and eyed the array of sliced leeks, potatoes, carrots, and herbs on the counter. The leeks were cut a hair too short. The potatoes either had too much remaining skin or were whittled down. The carrots were not a perfect julienne cut at all—they were far too thick.

"Hmm... this is better than before. But not by much. Your knifework leaves much to be desired."

The raven-haired man swiftly walked over to the cutting board and attempted to salvage what was left of the carrots and potatoes.

"Pardon me for asking, boss. But you weren't too hard on Mey-Rin, were you?"

Sebastian cut his eyes in the American's direction but resumed slicing without pause.

"I really don't see how that concerns you, Baldo. But if you must know, she and I have come to an understanding. And I sincerely hope that you also understand my authority just as she does now."

"Ah," Baldo muttered weakly.

"I gave her a couple of hours off. To give her time to recover."

"Recover, eh? Alright."

Sebastian sighed as he gathered the vegetables and began working on the main dish. The truth was that he was glad that Baldo was prying. Of course, Sebastian had eavesdropped earlier and heard just enough of the chef's gossip. It served as proof to Sebastian that his own behavior was raising suspicions about his true nature. As the demon butler walked Mey-Rin through the mansion, his mind teemed with different ideas about how to ward off such suspicion. Striking up a public relationship with Lizzy's servant, Paula, was too inconvenient. They barely interacted with each other. Nothing else seemed to work...that was until he noticed Mey-Rin's obvious body language around him. Then it hit him. He always had an inkling that the girl fancied him. He then had the idea to take her punishment further. And further. And even further until her attraction could not be denied.

 _So yes, Baldo. By all means, be curious. Investigate. Question her. Draw your own conclusions about what happened between us._

"The Young Master made it known to me that he is not hungry for supper tonight. We will just eat it ourselves and save the rest."

The rest of the week seemed to go by quickly. Ciel spent most days cloistered in his office. He had fallen behind with some of his studies and his Funtom paperwork. If he had any chance of giving Lizzie his undivided attention on Saturday, then he needed to limit all distractions—especially distractions in the form of a particular butler. Sebastian did not worry too much about his master's reclusive behavior. If the demon had any hope of resuming his seduction, he knew that the boy needed some time. Instead, the butler spent his time performing his daily duties and preparing for Ciel and Lizzie's brunch on Saturday. Finny was working on the gardening and hedges closest to the patio. Baldo assisted Sebastian with the curing of meats and planning. Tanaka was to assist Mey-Rin with decorating the patio and tidying up the nearby sunroom that Lizzie was fond of. Sebastian was pleased to notice that Mey-Rin was working more efficiently during this time. She completed her tasks without distraction. If anything, she paid her superior with even more respect and obedience since their tryst. Although with this new-found respect came more blushing and awkwardness around him, he could accept that.

Several hours away at the Midford estate, a young girl with flaxen hair was preparing for her day with the help of her servant, Paula. While the cheerful woman bathed her, dressed her, and brushed her golden curls, the girl stared off into the distance. Instead of her normally effervescent and talkative nature, Elizabeth seemed to be preoccupied with something.

"Is something wrong, my Lady?" asked Paula with slight concern, "Worried about your date?"

"Um…" the girl muttered, "I suppose."

"I told you that you have nothing to worry about. He has been a very busy boy, has he not? Even though he missed your last appointment, I'm sure he is most apologetic."

Elizabeth sighed and made her best attempt to explain herself without alarming her butler.

"It's just that...I sometimes find myself suspecting the worst of him."

"The 'worst'?"

"Yes. The worst possible scenarios. Sometimes I worry that he has feelings for another.."

"Ah," cooed Paula, "I was afraid it was something like this. What makes you think that his heart might belong to another?"

"I don't know. I know that it is a silly thing to believe. But I've been hearing things about other families'... _problems_ with their fiances and husbands. It has made me a bit paranoid I suppose. I would rather just rid my mind of the thoughts."

Elizabeth smiled at her reflection in the mirror as she admired her perfectly coiffed curls and rose colored ribbons.

It was late morning on that Saturday when Elizabeth Midford and Paula arrived at Phantomhive Manor. Ciel caught her hand to assist her as she stepped down from her carriage. Her dress that day was a more modern cut than usual, but still in her general aesthetic: French, rose-colored, and very frilly. Ciel nodded as he took in her form.

"Why such a severe cut?" Ciel asked as politely as possible. The truth was that he was not very interested in women's clothing and never brought it up in conversation. But he remembered Sebastian's advice about asking women questions and making it clear that one noticed small details about them. At least...he thought that his question was what she wanted to hear. He began to regret even bringing it up when her smile faded.

"You don't like it?" she looked down at her bodice and briefly strutted in a small circle to show the dress off. "Severe' is the style now. Every lady loves a tightly tailored dress. They are all of the rage."

"Oh…" the boy muttered weakly, "Well anyway...right this way." He awkwardly linked his arm with hers and escorted the heiress to the garden.

Sebastian seated the two at their chairs before revealing the meal of the day.

"For Earl Phantomhive and his betrothed, Lady Elizabeth Midford, I have prepared for you salmon gravlax on rye toast and watercress, a house salad, and a blackberry trifle for dessert. For tea we have rooibos and Earl gray."

In order to give the young couple some privacy, Sebastian joined Paula by the sunroom door.

After a few moments of light conversation and commentary on the food, Elizabeth put down her silverware and dabbed her face with her napkin.

"Ciel, could you answer me truthfully?"

The Earl had just finished biting into a scone before he nodded for her to continue.

"Do you...find it difficult to feel comfortable around me?"

The boy completed swallowing the scone morsel as he braced himself. This was going to be one of _those_ discussions.

"No...I do not believe so. Is there something bothering you, Lizzie?"

The young girl bit her lip in frustration before forcing an explanation out of her mouth.

"Well. I know that we cannot spend as much time together as we would like. Especially with your duties to the Queen. It just seems like even when you are together, it is unnatural for you. Almost as if you have to be coached on everything."

Ciel felt a slow heat settle on his face.

"Is that...not how a gentleman of my age should be? Should I not have to be coached on proper etiquette? Is that what you are saying?"

"It is not just the etiquette. It just seems like you do not even think of me that often."

The boy threw his napkin down on his plate and then grasped his fiancee's hand.

"Lizzie you know that is not true! I care for you. Our union is my most pressing responsibility. You _have_ to know that!"

The young lady frowned as she studied the Earl's features. So much has changed over the years. Even when he was trying to be romantic and passionate, he came off as desperate and enraged. His black eyepatch served as a reminder of the new boy that stood before her. Oh, how ugly that eyepatch was! She hated it. More importantly, she hated that this evidence of physical mutilation was accompanied by a psychic mutilation as well. Of course, she knew that something changed him. Or rather was it a _someone_?

"Just be honest with me, Ciel. None of this is natural for you. Romantically, I mean. And that is okay. That is not what our engagement is about. I know that! I just think that it is rather obvious that my feelings for you are more... _developed_. And yours aren't."

Ciel paused and tried to comprehend what she was telling him. Is she correct? Is he being abnormal for a boy his age? How would he even know? The only other boy close to his age that he spent a significant amount of time with was his servant, Finnian. But the differences in circumstance and upbringing were vast and obvious.

"I do not understand, Lizzie. I do try to make the most of our time together. I know that I can be absent-minded sometimes...But I do care for you. What do you really think is the culprit here?"

Elizabeth fiddled with the napkin in her lap as she tried to confess to him her suspicions, but something was stopping her. This would not be easy.

"Ciel…" When Elizabeth lifted her head to speak to her betrothed, she caught the gaze of the raven-haired man that dutifully waited on them. His porcelain face was placid and professional as always. But Elizabeth noticed something that startled her to her core. The butler's mouth was curled into the most subtle of smirks. His eyes betrayed a smugness that disgusted her.

 _Could he really hear them from that far away? And why does he look so self-satisfied?_

It was then that Elizabeth remembered her initial motivation for questioning Ciel. She flashed the man a venomous glare. She now knew how she had to approach this. Elizabeth shook her head and tried to calm herself.

"You are right, Ciel. I am not making a reasonable request."

The Earl was shocked by this immediate change in belief.

"You aren't?"

"No. It was foolish of me to ask so much of you. I suppose that girls and boys have different timetables for these things. I spend my days dreaming of our wedding and reading romance novels. You spend your time catching London's deplorables and running a business. You don't need to be thinking about all of this right now. Your feelings for me will blossom when you are ready."

Elizabeth hoped that what she just said really was the truth. At least it was the explanation that Paula gave her—that her expectations for Ciel were too high for their age. But the girl had a gnawing feeling that she had to press further. Once she realized one _alternative_ explanation for Ciel's lack of romantic interest, the thought never left her mind. After all, she was always taught that two people could learn to love each other as long as they were compatible to begin with. Why have his feelings not progressed as she has? What if there was something or someone that stood in the way of their potential for romance?

Ciel reclined back into his chair and hastily sipped his tea. He hoped that would be the last of their arguments for the day. Even though he was now calmer, her question still perturbed him. What if he never developed romantic feelings for her? Would he be able to successfully maintain the illusion that he did? Loveless marriages were common for individuals in his position, but it would hurt him to put Lizzie through that when she obviously loves him so dearly. Was there really something wrong with him?

Once the meal was complete, the two nobles went on a stroll through the topiary garden. Finny and Tanaka had put a great deal of work into it for the lady and he wanted to show it off. As they traipsed through the hedges, Lizzie pondered the best way to breach such a sordid subject.

"Ciel, have you heard about the Wolfrens?"

Ciel shook his head as he tried to recall the other Earl household. They were almost at their destination.

"No? Not since they were wed. What of them?"

"Well...It's quite horrible really."

"Oh?"

"The husband. Cedric Wolfren. He did something quite immoral."

"Really? You don't say. I honestly don't know him that well…?"

"Right. Well apparently neither did his wife."

At this point, Elizabeth had stopped walking. Ciel was several steps ahead before realizing that she was no longer abreast with him.

"He was found in the most compromising of positions..."

The boy froze at her last remark. He slowly turned to face her. His blood went cold.

"Lizzie. I do not entertain _gossip_. Especially such that could affect a family's reputation."

Elizabeth's face hardened as she tried to expel what was left of her horrible story.

"He was found fornicating—"

"Stop it, Lizzie!"

"—with his manservant."

Silence permeated the air. Ciel's body began trembling.

"What are you...What are you getting at?"

"Just be honest, Ciel! Please." Her plea came out as a whisper rather than the scornful shriek that she imagined it would. Tears began to well in her eyes.

Whereas the boy's blood ran cold at first, he now felt a scorching heat seethe through him. In a swift movement, Ciel grabbed her hand and briskly walked her back towards the mansion.

"Ciel! What are you doing? Please, just talk to me!"

As the young couple made their way past the servants, Sebastian and Paula attempted to intercept them.

"Something wrong, Bocchan?"

While opening the glass pane door, Ciel shot Sebastian a quick glare.

"Lizzie and I would like some privacy. I will be entertaining her in the library. There are some books that I would like to show her."

Sebastian cocked his head in mock agreement. His smile just as smug as before.

"Why _of course_ , Young Master. Some 'books'. Of course."

Once inside, Ciel and Elizabeth made their way up the stairs. Elizabeth trailed behind. Her arm began to get sore from being yanked across the mansion. She wanted to ask him why he was acting so strange and what he wanted to show her, but his new demeanor frightened her. Once inside the library, Ciel closed the oaken doors behind them. He placed his palms on the entrance while he caught his breath. His heart was now pounding from anxiety at the situation. Is this really what needed to be done? He thought back to Sebastian mocking him for lying. The damned butler knew what Ciel had to do. He was more than condoning it—he was actively daring him!

"What do you have to show me? Why here?"

The youth sighed and turned to face the flaxen-haired girl. To Elizabeth's surprise, his face was now drawn into a slight smile.

"Lizzie, please accompany me at the chaise."

They joined each other on the plush couch at the far end corner of the room. Lizzie avoided eye contact with him. Instead, she focused her attention on her black shoes.

"Ciel this is...odd of you. Don't you think that the servants might gossip about this? This is a bit inappropriate…"

In a sudden movement, the boy's hand cupped the girl's delicate chin. His face was only inches away from hers. He whispered to her softly.

"Well then. Maybe I don't care about what servants think? Especially of what I do with my future wife?"

Elizabeth was shocked by his sudden boldness. Before she could ask him to explain, Ciel planted a kiss on her lips. The girl was caught off guard by the sudden gesture. This was not like the chaste kisses they gave each other at the end of their dates. This was much more passionate. She moaned as she felt Ciel's tongue forcing itself into her mouth. After moments of him greedily exploring her, her body began to embrace his. Ciel's hands found their way around her small waist. He began pawing at her torso and chest through the layers of dress. His mind raced as he struggled to decide what to do next.

 _I have to make sure that she never questions our bond again. I must expel all doubt._

The overwhelmed teen replayed the book chapters that he previously poured over. The illustrations of sex and oral stimulation sparked his imagination. He remembered the encounters that he recently had with Sebastian. If he and his butler could enjoy such simple pleasures, then why not with her? Ciel slowly crouched and lowered his head between her legs. He began to pull at her undergarments with cautious fingers. Elizabeth jerked upright when she realized what he was targeting.

"Ciel…What are you…?"

The Earl lifted his head to face her. The girl's look of horror and disgust broke his heart.

"But...I thought…"

Ciel's heart lurched in his chest. What trauma did he inflict on her?

"Lizzie, please. I don't understand—"

Elizabeth's face was crimson. Tears began to well in her eyes. She refused to look at him directly. She readjusted her dress and hastily made her way to the library doors.

"I'm not some...whore, you know! What were you thinking, Ciel? I swear I don't even know you anymore."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The oak doors were slammed shut before Ciel could muster out a faint call. He shot up off of the couch and raced to the window. Below on the garden patio, he witnessed his betrothed running out to her carriage. The voices were inaudible from his height and distance, but he could read their body language very well. Paula trailed behind her before casting a worried glance at the library window. Ciel froze when he realized that he was discovered. He quickly diverted his gaze towards his feet. As Elizabeth's carriage made its way through the gates, he could see Sebastian ordering the Phantomhive servants to scatter and resume their responsibilities for the day. The boy shuffled his feet as he retreated from the library and to his bedchambers. The melancholy young Earl closed the curtains before flopping on to the plush duvet covers of his bed. After about an hour had passed, he heard a familiar knock on his door.

"Young Master, may I come in? I think that I have something to lift your spirits."

Ciel wanted to tell him to sod off. But he realized that the treat may be some kind of dessert and decided that it may be worth the temporary annoyance.

"Fine. Come in."

The raven-haired man entered the umbrous room. Ciel did not bother to turn his head to face his visitor.

"Whatever it is that you have, just leave it on the night stand. I will taste it later."

A loud _pop_ pierced the silent room. Ciel turned to face the man and his curious treat. In Sebastian's hands was an uncorked bottle. He poured a rose-colored liquid into a glass goblet and offered it towards him. The teen sat up and eyed his butler suspiciously.

"Wine? Why this? You know that I don't drink."

Sebastian still kept the offering outstretched.

"It is about time that you started developing a taste for it. Just give it a try. I believe that I selected one to your liking."

Ciel grasped the glass and lightly sniffed the beverage. He cautiously sipped it. Then took in several large gulps before choking.

"Ah-ah, Bocchan," the butler chided, "With wine, you must sip it slowly. It goes down easier that way."

Ciel nodded and proceeded to take one more sip.

"Hm…I like it."

"I knew that you would."

"What type is it?"

"A _Moscato D'asti_ , Young Master."

Ciel took several more sips before pausing.

"Shouldn't I be drinking this in the dining room? Indulging in alcohol while sitting on the bed just seems inappropriate."

Sebastian shrugged and grabbed another goblet from the serving platter. He seemed to study the surface of it for any smudges or imperfections.

"Well...after Elizabeth's... _hasty_ departure, I thought that you would probably want to hide up here for the rest of the day. Am I incorrect for assuming so?"

Ciel sighed as his cheeks began to blush.

"No. You are correct. Does everyone... _know_? Know...about why she left?"

The demon began helping himself to the beverage.

"Well. She didn't say exactly what it was that upset her. She just insisted on leaving. But I think that it is safe to assume that everyone had an inkling as to what transpired in the library."

The boy groaned as he finished off the last of his glass in a few gulps. He suddenly felt warmer. More comfortable. Ciel extended his glass for a refill. His dutiful butler happily obliged.

"You understand why I had to...right?" asked the boy hesitantly.

Sebastian shrugged before gulping three-fourths of his generous serving. Ciel marveled at how he managed to quickly polish off such a large amount of wine and still appear clearheaded. Sebastian sensed that his young charge was disturbed by yet another one of his demonic traits. He managed to stop himself before finishing the last fourth.

"I'm sorry, 'Had to' what? I'm afraid that you are being too vague."

The boy grunted in exasperation.

"You know! Why I had to...touch her. You know why, correct?"

The demon could barely contain his laughter at the sight of his master blushing and being so flustered. He used every ounce of willpower to refrain from doing so.

"Ah yes. Of course. To keep up appearances. That is the game of nobility, is it not?"

Ciel's eyes fell to his dangling feet. He took a few swigs and paused to marvel at the effects of the wine. His mind was beginning to feel fuzzy.

"How did she know? She just...knew. Knew that I am with another. With...a _male._ She sensed it! She kept saying that I am unnatural around her. Some kind of unnatural man? I had to prove her wrong."

The boy forced himself to choke back a sob. But tears welled in his eyes regardless.

"I tried to show her...that I am capable….capable of whatever she wanted. I don't understand….am I broken? Is that why I am cold around her?"

Sebastian walked over to the boy's side and sat next to him. He patted his back in an attempt to comfort him.

"There there. It isn't all bad."

Sebastian wiped a rolling tear from the boy's eye. The butler then unfastened Ciel's eyepatch and cupped his face in his hand.

"Some men are very gifted with women. Some are more... _comfortable_ in the company of other men. And then there are those that are quite comfortable with both."

The boy stared into the demon's piercing eyes. He felt a peculiar _pull—_ a force. The longer that Ciel stared, the more difficult it was for him to shrug off the strange feeling. He felt as if invisible chains bound him to the spot on his bed. His own pale eyes felt lost. As if the man's gaze had consumed them.

"Which one...are you?" asked Ciel timidly

Sebastian chose not to answer. He suppressed a chuckle as he briefly considered explaining the intricacies of demon sexuality.

"I think that you should write Elizabeth an apology."

Ciel shuddered as he felt himself breaking away from his trance. He became all too aware that his head was now not only cradled by one hand but two.

"I should...I should what?"

Sebastian guided the teen's head in the direction of the small bureau in the corner of his chambers. The satisfied demon then nudged Ciel toward it. The young Earl hopped off of his bed and unceremoniously tripped on a foot before Sebastian caught him.

"Be careful now."

Ciel groaned in annoyance and shuffled over to his mahogany chair. He haphazardly pulled out the desk's drawers before remembering that he kept his best stationary in a tea box on top of the bureau surface. Ciel's mind still felt fuzzy and unfocused. He retrieved a few sheets of paper and wet a pen nib in his inkwell. His hand's movements were slow and cautious.

 _Deer Elizabeth,_

 _It is with great disapppointment and hummiliationn that you left my estate. For that, I am eternally apologetic. Their is know excuse for how I treated you. You are my dear betrothed and I made you feel as if you were nothing mor then a common harlot. You are my other halv, my gift from the Lord. I tarnished what was a beutifull afternoon. A beautyful day with you. I am not sure ho—_

In mid-sentence, Ciel felt a hot breath panting against his neck. The teen froze as a pair of lips lightly traced his ear.

"I'm sure that this can wait, Bocchan. I just wanted an excuse to catch you by surprise."

In that instant, Ciel felt the man lifting him up into his arms. Before the Earl had time to process what happened, Sebastian had gingerly laid him on the bed. The demon butler was now hovering over the boy. His long arms pinned the smaller hands above him. His equally long legs straddled Ciel's. The teen's heart was jumping in his chest while his mind still crept at a snail's pace. After days of trying to ignore the man inches above him, he could now no longer pretend that there was no sexual tension between them. In a matter of seconds, the demon's lips captured Ciel's. The Earl broke away from the butler and gasped for air. The air felt thick and suffocating.

"Wait...Sebastian?"

"Yes my lord?"

"My duties as Earl are the only reason why I am maintaining my engagement to Elizabeth. Other than that, I am done with her."

Sebastian resumed his seduction and began nipping at the teen's neck.

"Of. Course. Bocchan," he breathed between bites.

Ciel pushed him away once more.

"What I mean...is that I am done with her emotionally. I...only want you."

The lascivious demon grinned and laid a surprisingly chaste kiss on the boy's forehead.

"Of course, Bocchan."

Ciel turned his head away from Sebastian and mumbled something sheepishly.

"What is that?" asked the playful demon.

"I said that you are mine!" he shouted furiously, "I have to be with Elizabeth, but that is strictly business. You must not have relations with anyone else!"

Ciel's face burned with embarrassment and desperation. Sebastian's seductive facade subsided into an expression of genuine surprise. This degree of possessiveness was new for his master.

Ciel's heart lurched at Sebastian's hesitation.

"Am I not your only lover?"

The prurient butler recalled his rendezvous with Mey-Rin. He felt a sudden wave of satisfaction wash over him. It is very unfortunate that Ciel wished for complete monogamy. How adorable!

"Why of course, Young Master. I am exclusively yours."

Ciel reclined back onto the bed and lifted his arms above his head as if he wanted them pinned down again. His eyes fell into half-lidded moons.

"Then prove it to me. Show me how you _really_ treat your lovers."

Sebastian leaned in closer to his prey. He could not believe how easy this was. How his efforts these past few weeks have paid off handsomely.

"Are you sure? Young Master, you must know that what you are asking for is very...intense."

Ciel closed his eyes and smiled. Even with the alcohol in his system, Sebastian could still sense the youth's fluttering heartbeat. The boy was more nervous than he was letting on.

"I am certain, Sebastian. I can handle it."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Golden sunbeams of the early morning bathed Finnian's bedroom in soft yellows. The young lad yawned and rolled over to his side. Barely ten minutes passed by before he was awakened again by a loud pounding on his door.

"Wake up, you lazy oaf!" shouted Baldoroy in the corridor. He was adjusting his chef's coat with one hand while the other continued pounding. As the servant boy progressed through adolescence, he had become more difficult to wake in the mornings. It annoyed Baldo to no end.

"Don't make me barge in there and drag you out! If you are late again, then Sebastian will punish us all."

Finny's door opened with a swiftness. The boy hastily pulled his head and arms through his shirt as he raced to the end of the hall. The chef walked by Tanaka's door without paying it any attention. He knew that the old man was always awake and cleaning well before they were. The former soldier often wondered if Tanaka ever served in the armed forces as a young man. As Baldo passed Mey-Rin's door, he gave it a quick rap with his knuckles. Like Finnian, she also had a habit of oversleeping. Mey-Rin's door opened a crack. Baldo tried to peek inside the room to face the maid, but he was met with darkness.

"Mey-Rin? Why is it so dark in here? Are your curtains still drawn? Get dressed and let's go."

A timid voice squeaked from behind the wooden door.

"Um…I can't."

The chef leaned against the door while he stared at the floor in frustration. He sighed as he dreaded the maid's excuse.

"Well? Why not?"

"Uh... I'm in trouble with Sebastian again...he wants me to spend time in isolation. I'm not supposed to talk to anyone."

Baldo's brow furrowed as he tried to process what the woman told him. What an odd punishment for a servant.

 _Why was she attracting so much of his attention? You would think that she would have learned by now._

Before he could pry any further, he heard a loud barking sound coming from the kitchen. Finny still had not taught the dog-man to contain his excitement at seeing them.

"Dammit, Pluto!" cursed Baldo, "He's going to wake up the Young Master too early. Fine Mey-Rin. See you later. And for Christ's sake, stop getting yourself in trouble!"

-:-:-:-:-

Sebastian opened the drapes of Ciel's room and glanced back to see the golden beams on his sleeping form. The young Phantomhive reflexively rolled over. A loud groan erupted from him.

"Fuck!" Ciel shouted.

The demon butler circled his bed and crouched down until his face was almost at the Phantomhive's level.

"Such coarse language from an Earl!"

The teen's face had an unhealthy pallor. His skin appeared clammy and unpleasant to the touch.

"Everything hurts! My eyes hurt...my head...ugh."

Ciel threw the duvet cover over his head. Sebastian gently stroked his shoulder through the covers and sighed.

"Oh no. This must be your first hangover. I'm terribly sorry, Bocchan. This is my fault."

Despite the apologetic tone, the man's face was virtually unmoved. He was neither genuinely surprised nor remorseful about his master's state.

"I brought some earl gray tea and a French omelet, Young Master. Would you be able to stomach it?"

The youth slowly peeled back the duvet and attempted to sit up straight. Immediately upon rising, he moaned in pain and rolled over to his side to face his butler. The boy's visage was contorted in visible agony.

"That bad?" asked Sebastian with more curiosity than concern.

Ciel shook his head. His pale face then gained a small tint of color as embarrassment set in.

"Oh! I see. A different type of pain. Well...I personally apologize for that Bocch—,"

Ciel had raised his hand to silence the man.

"I get it...it is fine. Just bring me the tea."

The butler did as he was instructed. Ciel gingerly lifted a filled teacup from the cart and sipped the soothing liquid. After taking his fill, the Earl grabbed the saucer and scooped a forkful of the omelet. After consuming half of the delectable meal, the boy suddenly shuddered. He threw the fork and saucer on the ground and cupped his mouth. He then immediately crawled over the edge of his bed to dive headfirst into the nearest wastebin.

"Oh dear," uttered Sebastian over the sound of Ciel's retching, "You are far too sick to carry on your day. I'm canceling all of your plans."

Sebastian walked over to Ciel's side and began dabbing the boy's mouth with a handkerchief. Ciel's once pale cheeks were now flushed. The teen refused to look his butler in the eye.

"Don't be embarrassed, Young Master. This was my fault. I was very reckless last night. In more ways than one."

Ciel finally turned to face his butler. His expression had now softened.

"I wouldn't have traded the memory for anything else." replied the Earl.

Sebastian was taken aback.

"Really? Despite the suffering that I caused you?"

Much to the butler's surprise, Ciel threw his arms around Sebastian and laid his head against the man's chest.

"I know suffering, remember? This isn't suffering."

They remained entangled in each other for what felt like an eternity to Sebastian. The embrace was pleasant, but he was still shocked at the spontaneous display of affection from Ciel. Sebastian chuckled under his breath at the absurdity of the situation.

 _The boy gave himself to you last night and yet this feels more intimate?_

"What is so funny?" Ciel asked innocently.

Sebastian planted a chaste kiss in his dark locks before removing the Earl from his arms. As The dutiful butler tucked Ciel in, the youth whispered to him through a strained throat.

"Don't leave. Stay with me, Sebastian."

The demon tenderly kissed Ciel on the lips. He internally bit back his reaction of delight at the taste of bile that still lingered on the boy's mouth. A taste that would have been acrid and revolting for humans, but was wickedly decadent to a demon such as himself.

 _Ah. The taste of mortality._

"No, Bocchan. As much as I would love to spend all day with you in your bed, this is one of those times in which I must play that _other_ role. I shall return to you around lunchtime."

Sebastian grabbed the trolley and made his way to the hallway. Before opening the door, Ciel desperately croaked out to him.

"Not unless I _ordered_ you!"

The demon kept his back away from Ciel as he tried to reign in his impatience.

"You and I both know that we have appearances to keep up, Bocchan. Don't be such a selfish child."

With that last quip, Sebastian knew that he had prodded Ciel at his weakness. Satisfied, he exited the bedchambers as if nothing had happened. Ciel flopped back onto his bed and pouted. He hated when Sebastian did that. He loathed himself even more for ruining what was a pleasant goodbye. Ciel's eyes shot wide awake as he remembered the unfinished letter to Elizabeth. He groaned once more and resolved to finish it the next day.

It was a rather uneventful day at the Phantomhive Manor. Finny tended to the topiary garden with the help of Pluto as his ladder. Tanaka took over Mey-Rin's cleaning duties and was busy dusting in the cellar. Baldo prepared the chicken and vegetable soup for that afternoon's lunch. As Baldo hand-shredded the boiled chicken breasts, Sebastian checked the inventory of the pantry.

"Boss, if you don't mind me asking—"

"If it is about Mey-Rin, then yes. I do mind." snapped the butler from inside the storage area.

Baldo grunted and sucked his teeth in frustration.

"Er, no. It is about the Young Master." lied the chef.

"Fine. What about him?"

Baldo shrugged as he attempted to save face.

"His illness...do you reckon it is contagious?"

Sebastian soon appeared from the pantry with his paper list and pen.

"I'm not quite sure...Now that I am thinking of it, I order all of you to avoid his quarters as much as possible. If I fall ill, then the rest of you will just have to pick up my slack. If all of us contract it, then we will be completely out of commission."

Sebastian peeked out from the pantry to see if Baldo was believing his lies. Of course, his demon anatomy meant that could never fall ill. Baldo had resumed preparing the meal and did not seem to suspect anything. Sebastian continued with his ruse.

"Now if you don't mind, I will be checking up on the Young Master and on Mey-Rin. Please do not disturb us."

-:-:-:-:-

Ciel felt a warmth from behind him. It cradled his much smaller body within its own. Long arms and legs wrapped around his own. Hot breath puffed against his neck in a gentle rhythm.

"Sebastian?" whispered the boy. His mind kept slipping away from him when they were like this.

"Hmmm." mumbled the voice from behind him.

"I'm sorry...for earlier."

"It is fine," whispered the butler.

The Earl paused as he tried to recollect his thoughts. He felt as if he was fighting his way through a thick London fog.

"Sebastian…"

"Yes?"

"Is it wrong…"

Ciel felt the man stirring. He had lifted his head away from Ciel and was now staring at him.

"Is what wrong?"

"Is it wrong...that...I think that I love you? And that I want to spend all of my time with you?"

The demon chuckled mirthfully and buried his head into Ciel's dark locks. He wrapped his arms around the boy tighter and pulled him close.

"Young Master, that is all I ever wanted."

Ciel sat up board-straight in his bed. He yelped in shock as he realized that he was still alone.

 _But...it felt so real._

Painful lumps appeared in his throat. He reached over to his nightstand for his glass of water but realized that it had disappeared. In its place, his fingers brushed against sheets of paper. Ciel lifted the pages and inspected them. The paper had torn edges and printed text as if it had been ripped from a book.

" _Table of Contents: Page …..p155 - Zoophilic Practices….p.173 - Necrophilic practices...p. 182 - Pederasty and other Pedophilic Practices…."_

Ciel felt his breath leave his body. The room instantly felt cold. The missing Table of Contents page?

His fingers hastily picked up the other page as his mind raced to scan the page for answers.

" _Pederasty and other Pedophilic Practices:_

… _.Pederasty is perverse pedophilic behavior between a man and a boy…_

 _The man enters a sexual relationship with the child for his own gratification…_

… _.Just as with Male-Female pedophilic relationships, the sex acts are usually precipitated by a grooming process. This process usually involves such behaviors as secret keeping, exposure to sexually explicit materials, prolonged physical ministrations…"_

Ciel balled up the pages and threw them onto the floor. He cradled his head in his hands as he let out a guttural scream.

 _No...it isn't like that! He loves me._

The teen tried to then ascertain as to who delivered the missing pages to him.

 _Mey-Rin...she found my book...and maybe she suspected something. No! She thinks that it isn't love, but it is. She was just trying to help me, so she delivered the relevant pages to me. Does that make sense? Yes. Yes, I believe that does. She just...does not understand the nature of our relationship. That is all. I just need to reassure her that it is real love. It isn't a sickness._

The boy realized that he was really attempting to reassure himself rather than face a more sinister possibility. A possibility about Sebastian that made his skin crawl and his distressed stomach tie itself in knots.

 _He loves me for me. That is all_.

Ciel left the bed and exited the bedroom while still clad in his nightclothes. If he called Sebastian to change him first, then the butler would want to know where he was going. He needed to speak with her without his knowledge.

As he raced down the corridors and stairwells to the servants quarters, a flurry of anxiety washed over him. Sebastian made it clear that he cared for the boy—but _why_? Ciel had never asked him. How could he even ask that when he himself had so many questions about love? The bond that he and his butler shared felt exciting and fiery—unlike the flat, platonic, feelings that he felt towards Elizabeth. What did that mean?

He made his way past Baldo and Finny conversing in the kitchen.

"Uh, Young Master. Aren't you sick?" Asked Finny quizzically.

"No. I'm fine," the Earl barked as he continued walking, "Where is Mey-Rin?"

"In her room!" shouted Baldo in the boy's direction.

Finny and Baldo shrugged and continued their conversation.

Once Ciel had made it in front of Mey-Rin's chambers, he raised his fist to knock on the door. As soon as he faced the entrance, he heard a peculiar sound from inside the chambers. It was a faint, rhythmic, beating. He placed an ear against the door and heard the noise even clearer. It was a cacophony of metallic squeaking, wet plunging, and light smacking sounds. Ciel's heart dropped as he realized that out of all of his servants, there could only be one other in the room with her. In that instant, Ciel panicked. All he could think about in that instant was Sebastian betraying him. Ciel hastily opened the door to the room and clenched his mouth in anger at what he witnessed.

Bent over her bed was a completely nude Mey-Rin. Her glasses and cap had long been discarded. Her face and body were covered in beads of sweat. Her hips were still raised above her head in a lascivious position. Gripping her hips was none other than a stark nude Sebastian.

"Ciel!" shrieked Mey-Rin, "Um...Young Master...I...I..."

With lightning speed, she grabbed her duvet cover and covered her body. Sebastian remained unphased by the intrusion. His trademark smirk could not be erased.

"Took you long enough to wake up, Bocchan. Perhaps you would like to join us?"

The livid teen grabbed Sebastian's trousers from the floor and threw it at the man's face with all of his force. Sebastian caught the article of clothing with one outstretched hand.

" _Fuck_ you, you disgusting bastard!"

"Master...I am so sorr—," stammered the maid.

Ciel raised his hand to silence the woman. His piercing blue eye never left the man before him.

"How could you? I told you that you were mine. That you couldn't do this. We had an agreement. I...love you."

At that moment, Mey-Rin covered her mouth with both hands out of shock. She felt bile rise in her throat as she realized the gravity of the situation. She had never felt so unclean in her life. In that instant, Mey-Rin backed herself up against the wall by her bed—anything to put distance between her and the monster that she had been intimate with.

The butler continued to dress himself as nonchalantly as ever.

"Hmm. I suppose you _did_ say something like that. Silly me. Trust me, Bocchan. It is better that you understand now rather than later. Love is a worthless emotion. If anything it is a disease for humans. I am happy to say that demons aren't afflicted by such...sentimentalities."

Ciel picked up two books off of Mey-Rin's bookshelf and threw them at Sebastian's head. The butler swiftly caught each book effortlessly with his inhuman speed. Ciel took several shallow breaths while his mind began to piece together the facts.

"Then that means...you tore out the pages...and gave them to me. To lure me here. You planned this! This whole thing!" Ciel pointed an accusatory finger at the demon.

"You planted the book! Didn't you? To 'groom' me? Right? But...why?"

Sebastian licked his lips as he could have sworn that he could taste the boy's soul right then and there.

"Why, Ciel? Well...let's just say that your soul needed something. That you are such a strong specimen that it takes an inordinate amount of strife to really affect its purity. Heartbreak is the perfect seasoning for it. You will die before you become a man, that much is certain. So I just needed to...speed up the process."

The boy dropped to his knees. Each word felt like a dagger piercing his stomach. Ciel tried to utter a witty quip or a loathsome curse. But nothing came out. He lifted his head to give Sebastian one last menacing glare before storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him. Mey-Rin swiftly jumped out of the bed and grabbed her uniform from its pile on the floor to briskly dress herself.

"I can't believe you...you monster! To think that you and Ciel... _Shit,_ I'm going to be sick! That poor child."

As soon as she opened the door a crack, the butler's gloved hand clenched her hand around the knob and forced her to shut it.

"And where do you think that you are going, miss?"

The maid's body shook in anger. Her skin crawled where his gloved hands gripped her hand and shoulder.

"If I recall, you are still on punishment. I don't think that I ever relinquished you."

That was the last straw. She turned and shoved the man's hands away.

" 'Punishment'!? You ordered me to stay here so you could come back and fuck me whenever you wanted to! The 'punishment' was just a ruse, remember? It was us being discreet. Now I wish that I never agreed to this with you, you perverted bastard! What...what are you?"

Sebastian was no longer smiling. His eyes flashed blood red and his skin appeared to have blanched to an even paler tone than usual. Visibly annoyed, he grabbed her by her hands and pulled her close. In that moment, Mey-Rin could have sworn that the shadows grew large enough to engulf the room in black.

"I am going to pretend that I did not hear that. I don't expect us to keep up the arrangement, but I do expect you to still follow my may leave, but you will not speak about Ciel and I—understood? You will not tell the other servants about what you _think_ that you know about me or about the extent of my relationship with the Young Master. I can assure you that he would also want us to spare him the embarrassment of being the center of such gossip. Understood?"

Mey-Rin's cheeks were still burning with rage and humiliation. How could she not have known the depths of this man—this _Thing's_ depravity?

"Understood." she choked out.

Sebastian released her and opened the door. He extended his arm to let her through.

As Mey-Rin cautiously entered the corridor, the butler reached towards her to whisper in her ear.

"To answer your question. 'What am I?'. I am neither man nor beast. But I am exceptionally powerful. And if you do not heed me, then I will see to it that your death is painful and slow. Now be gone!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Ciel laid in bed with his eyes open as he stared at the ceiling. He estimated that it had been two hours since he was put to bed by his butler and he could not bring himself to sleep. This was not new to him. It had been six weeks since Sebastian revealed his true intentions to him and he had not had a full night's sleep since. For one thing, the event had put a dour mood over their nightly rituals. Sebastian knew that it pained the boy to still be serviced by him. But Ciel was too proud to act as if it changed their professional relationship. For the first three days, he could only sleep for a few hours until the nightmares woke him up crying. Nightmares of Sebastian betraying him just before devouring him. Nightmares of being tortured in the same ways as he was back in the Cage. Ciel noticed that anytime he woke up from these nightmares, he seemed to always be on his stomach. Before that dreadful day, he naturally slept on his back. This new stomach habit was just one of many recent changes.

Ciel slipped out of bed and exited his chambers. While walking down the dark corridors and the staircases, he silently prayed that he would not run into Sebastian or any other servant performing nightly duties. Once Ciel arrived at the entrance to the wine cellar, he briskly made his way down the staircase to fulfill his new bedtime ritual. The teen reached into his pocket and pulled out a matchbook that he had stolen from the pocket of Baldo's chef's coat. He struck the match against the stone wall and lit a nearby candle on a wooden bureau. Ciel walked three aisles down until he reached the familiar rack of French wines. He grabbed a half-empty bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon on the end of the rack and used his teeth to rip out the loosened cork. Once the task was accomplished, he quickly brought the bottle to his lips to reward himself. Ciel still preferred Moscato, but all memories of the sweet beverage only reminded him of his drunken tryst. The sweet elixir now made him feel like vomiting. Any other flavor would serve to help him forget. Any drink but that one. Ciel leaned his back against the cobblestone wall as he gulped down some more of the rich drink. He began to feel a familiar warmth. Ciel wished that Lizzy were there to share the moment with him. But as his mind drifted to memories of his last few encounters with the maiden, he realized that it was best for both of them that she was not with him.

The truth was that immediately after Sebastian betrayed him, Ciel wrote a sincere letter to the girl and begged for her forgiveness. They resolved to see each other more often. Lunch and dinner dates several times a week rather than once or twice a month. Their relationship slowly blossomed and the two grew closer than Ciel could have ever imagined. All of a sudden the girl was less annoying and more endearing. Her high pitched voice enchanted him with its sing-song quality. Her smell was more intoxicating than the most fragrant flower. More importantly to Ciel, her intentions and emotions were refreshingly innocent. He marveled at how they could talk about any subject with the same wonder and energy as if they were young children.

That all changed on the day of Elizabeth's birthday. It was a beautiful occasion. Ciel allowed Lizzy to decorate the mansion in the way that she always wanted to. The buttercream strawberry cake that Sebastian baked was absolutely delicious. Sebastian himself even had the wisdom to make himself as scarce as possible that day so as to not cast a dark cloud over the couple. All food and services provided by him were delivered through the other Phantomhive staff. Elizabeth even loved her gift from the Young Master—a marble figurine of a stallion. Lizzy hugged her betrothed and grabbed his hand to guide him to some secret room. Lizzy had announced to the staff that she had important news about her family and she needed to speak with Ciel in private. The Phantomhive heir was quite puzzled as she led him up to the stairs to his library. Affairs of that nature were on the same level as business talk. Why would she want to talk about that on this day of all days?

Once they were behind his closed door, Elizabeth embraced Ciel with a force that he was not accustomed to. Their eyes locked on each other for what felt like an eternity. She then leaned in and seized Ciel's lips with her own. The boy froze as the girl grasped his coat collar in desperation. That familiar bout of sickness had returned. Without warning, Lizzy began to deepen the kiss. She pawed at Ciel's sleeves and collar with more intensity. Her tongue made its way into Ciel's unsuspecting mouth. Grunting, he pushed her away as if she were nothing more than a bothersome pest.

"What is wrong?" she shrieked, "I thought that you wanted this too?

Ciel was taken aback. This was not what he wanted at all. It was the furthest thing from it.

"I don't understand…" he mumbled.

"Remember when you kissed me?" she pleaded with him as she walked closer, "That time in your library? You kissed me. And you wanted us to...to become intimate?"

At this point, Elizabeth outstretched her hand to stroke her beloved's cheek. Ciel grabbed her wrist before her gloved hand could make contact.

"I am truly sorry Lizzy. I wasn't myself back then...but for now, I want us to have a _proper_ engagement. A pure one."

As the words sank into Elizabeth, she lowered her gaze to the floor. Her cheeks burned.

"I see. Well, I am sorry for being…improper. For having intentions that are not 'pure' at all."

The flaxen-haired girl hastily made her way to the door. She held her head low and refused to look back.

"No! That is not what I meant! Lizzy please…" Ciel's voice trailed off once she slammed the door in her wake.

He wanted to explain to her that things were different now. Every caress, kiss, and lustful thought now made him sick to his stomach. Masturbation was impossible enough for him, let alone maintaining another physical relationship with someone he cared for. He could not even imagine such acts without bile rising in his throat and without feeling as if his heart would explode from distress. He sometimes wondered what it would take to cure his new ailment. Would more sex desensitize him? Wanton, meaningless, sex with any willing person? Probably not. Perhaps alcohol could free his mind?

And that is how Ciel took up drinking. He licked his lips as he savored the burning sensation in his throat. The Cabernet Sauvignon was drier than he was normally used to, but he resolved to acquire a taste for it.

"Young Master, is that you?"

The Earl jumped with fright and reflexively dropped the bottle. Ciel made sure to move his bare feet away from the glass shards and wine, but not before flecks of the red liquid sprayed his silk pajama bottoms.

"Oh no!" shrieked Mey-Rin, "I didn't mean to scare you."

She rushed over to the scene and pulled out a handkerchief to dab at the teen's pants.

"What in God's name are you doing down here?" growled Ciel.

Mey-Rin mumbled into her work as she continued scrubbing.

"Oh dear. It seems I am only making it worse…"

Ciel ripped his leg away from her and backed away.

"What? Answer me!"

The maid sighed. She could not avoid the inquiry any longer.

"I dust down here during the days. I noticed the first empty bottle. Then I noticed that it wasn't just my imagination. Another bottle all of a sudden was half full."

"So you came down here to spy on me?"

The young woman sighed and began walking towards the youth.

"I didn't know that it was you for sure. But I had my suspicions...This isn't healthy. You really should stop."

Ciel turned away from her so that he was only facing the cobblestone wall of the cellar.

"My drinking habits are none of your concern. Do not forget your place."

There was a terrible silence in the space as Mey-Rin tried her best to process this new behavior.

"If this has anything to do with Sebastian, then I completely understand."

Ciel's hands gripped the clustered stones on the wall in front of him. He had managed to avoid talking about that horrid day up until now.

"I know that you are trying to forget," she continued, "Lord knows that I have also tried. But drinking won't help you deal with this."

More silence from the boy's corner of the room. Although the maid could not see him, she knew that he must have been crimson from shame. Avoiding the broken glass, she walked over to the young lad and laid a hand on his back. Ciel turned to face her. Tears welled in his eyes and his cheeks burned.

"I know that...you and I were never that close. If it would make you feel better, then you can always talk to me. I've had my heart broken many times. It is just a part of growing up. I am so sorry that it had to happen to you this way. But I promise that the pain will fade."

Ciel nodded. He wanted to say something. Anything to her. But a painful lump had already formed in his throat. Mey-Rin moved in closer and attempted to wrap her arms around him in an embrace until the youth stepped back.

"Right. Sorry about that," she quickly responded.

The Earl smiled at her and wiped away his tears.

"It isn't that I don't care for you, Mey-Rin. I value you greatly. I just...can't deal with affection right now. I never could, really. But especially not now."

Mey-Rin smiled and bowed.

"Not a problem, Young Master. How about you return to your chambers? I will take care of this mess tonight."

Ciel quietly ascended the cellar stairs and tip-toed through the mansion as quietly as when he left. When he slid in between the plush duvet covers and his sheets, he stared at his ceiling once more before drifting to sleep.

 _It would take some time to recover. But at least I am not alone._


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

In the demon sanctuary on the isle far away, Sebastian Michaelis and Claude Faustus continued their frenzied duel. Trapped within their soul's subconscious world was Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy—bound back to back. Normally Ciel would be cringing with disgust from being in such close contact with the disturbed boy, but this time his body was relaxed. He seemed almost bored.

"Isn't this exciting, Ciel?" shouted Alois with a buoyant chirp, "They are fighting over us! Over you and me! I knew that Claude loved me. He always had."

Without even turning to face the obnoxious youth behind him, Ciel exhaled deeply.

"If you think that demons are capable of love, then you are more foolish than I thought."

Alois ground his back up against Ciel in an effort to break away from him.

"You'll see! He is bound to me. What do you know anyway?"

The Phantomhive boy dipped his head and closed his eyes. It was not worth arguing with him. Nothing was really worth it after all. Soon Sebastian will prevail, as he always does. And then he will finally be able to taste the soul that he had put so much effort into shaping.

"I hope it will be worth it, you bastard." mumbled Ciel to himself.

"What did you call me?" Alois shrieked with indignation.

-:-:-:-:-

Several months later, and the Phantomhive Earl was not deceased at all. In fact, he was still living at his family's mansion. The servants detected a change from him, but Sebastian forbade them from even discussing it. The few times that he did not wear gloves, Ciel's new black fingernails shined like onyx stones. Sebastian explained to them all that it was a new fashion for young men. His eating habits were odd as well. If Baldo did not know any better, he would have thought that the boy's appetite had disappeared. Whole plates would be sent back to the kitchen with only a few noticeable bites as evidence. Mey-Rin noticed that he could now surprise her during her cleanings by entering a room without making a sound. Something about the Earl's eyes now disturbed Finny so much that he found it difficult to maintain eye contact with him. Tanaka's health had diminished so much that he did not seem to notice any changes. Upon realizing that the elderly man was in the twilight of his life, Ciel made arrangements for him to immediately retire and to spend the rest of his days at the manor as he pleased.

Being the perceptive boy that he was, Ciel decided that he could not keep up the charade much longer. With a death hoax planned and with a carriage saddled with enough possessions to give the appearance that they were only going on a short holiday, Ciel and Sebastian bid farewell to the Phantomhive household and to Elizabeth.

On the carriage ride to their next destination, Ciel sat across from Sebastian but refused to look at him. Sebastian's face was not much to look at these days anyway—the spoiled Soul Harvest had made him exceptionally bitter. The only time he cared to smile was when he gleefully educated Ciel on his new demonic traits. He could at least derive schadenfreude from that.

"Are you going to ignore me the entire trip, _Young Master_?" The butler's voice dripped with rancor.

The Earl ignored him and continued to lazily stare out of the window. They were driving past a wheat field and Ciel's eyes immediately locked on the peasant family tending to it. What caught his attention was a young girl with strawberry blonde hair down to her back. Ciel's new senses could count the beads of sweat on her brow and determine that she was around seventeen years of age. If he concentrated hard enough, he could feel _something_ emanating from her. A heartbeat? No, nothing that visceral. This thing inside of her pulsed like one, but it was something different.

"Stop the carriage!" Ciel barked to the driver. He rushed to carriage door and pawed at the chain to open it.

The carriage pulled over to the shoulder of the dirt road. Ciel raced around to the side facing the wheat field. He stopped in his tracks as he realized just how far the girl actually was from them. He could still make out her figure and even more details than he ever could perceive back when he was a human. The actual distance between them made him pause and think about what was happening. He _wanted_ her so badly. He just knew that her essence, her _self_ had to taste as beautifully as she looked. With every fiber of his new flesh, he desired to consume her and destroy her.

Ciel removed his gloves to eye the glowing pentagram on his tainted hand. He whipped his head around to face his demon butler with an expression that Sebastian could only interpret as confusion and fear. Sebastian cast a wicked grin back to his master and removed his glove to reveal that his symbol pulsed in unison.

"What is happening? What is wrong with me, Sebastian?"

Sebastian let out a mirthful laugh and seemed as if he would collapse from the humor in the situation.

"What is so funny?" Ciel screamed. His stomach was tying itself in knots. His new eyes burned a familiar red tone.

Instead of answering, Sebastian walked past Ciel towards the stretch of the field that the family was working. The sun had almost set and the farmers looked as if they were heading home for the day. Ciel swiftly followed behind him.

-:-:-:-:-

It was the end of twilight when the two demons returned back to the carriage. The driver had been waiting patiently for them to return. Before returning to the driver's seat, the man paused to stare at the Earl. His face turned as white as if he had seen a ghost. The driver raced to the seat and kept his gaze focused on the road. The reigns shifted in his trembling hands. Sebastian tapped Ciel and pulled him close so that he could dab away the blood that stained his pale chin and lips. The raven-haired demon chuckled from amusement. As far as Feasts go, this one was adequate. Not as satisfying as a Soul Harvest, but it will do. Bloodshed was not even necessary during a Feast, but the younger demon was so overwhelmed by his new-found lust that he could not control himself.

"I was not surprised at all when you picked her. Truthfully, she caught my attention as well. Suffice it to say, Young Master, you seem to share my tastes after all."

Ciel's eyes narrowed into scarlet slits. It disgusted him that he now realized exactly what Sebastian meant.

 **The End**

* * *

 **Author's Note (cont'd):**

As explained before, I do not believe that such a relationship would be completely pure or conducive to romance. Instead of a romance, I chose to treat this story as an exercise in deconstructing such a dynamic. I hope that I achieved that goal because I felt extremely creeped out while writing it! Thank you for reading!


End file.
